Spirit shuddered and released a strangled sob. I cant lose... someone else...
I did not see that coming. (P with LuvAmy)
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Smoke was struck silent for a long moment before murmuring quietly, You don't mean me, right?
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Her eyes squeezed shut, and she covered her mouth with a hand. ... I do... but... also not..?
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What does that mean? he questioned. I hope it means I mean nothing to you, because I'm confused. I shouldn't.
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No, Smoke. You mean... a lot to me.
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Smoke was silent again for a long moment before demanding, What?!!! How is that-- no, you-- nobody -- you're joking me, aren't you? Yeah, of course! Ha, ha. Very funny, heehee.
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You can feel what I feel! Am I lying?!
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He paused, then exploded in confusion: No?!! Maybe?!!! Maybe really well?!!
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I'm not lying, Smoke! Why do you think I so badly want you to stay? Why do you think I haven't gotten rid of you yet? Because you mean a lot to me!
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But that's not possible!! he exclaimed back.
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And why is that so hard to believe?
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Because!! he shrieked. Because -- I'm -- a monster!! I'm a bad guy!!! Have you not been listening to everything I've been saying?!! Or there when I attacked all of you?!! Hmm?!!
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Yes! You were a bad guy! But then you helped me-- you helped me when you didn't have to. Even when I obviously didn't want to be friends with you, you still helped me, and you still offered your help to me after, and you're still... you're still concerned with how I feel...
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How does that matter?!! he exclaimed. How does that make me not a bad guy when I was already a bad guy?!!
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Because maybe you weren't a bad guy in the first place! Maybe you were just a confused, scared, lost guy, who just needed someone to help him!
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Bah!! growled Smoke stubbornly.
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'Bah yourself,' came the just as stubborn retort.
(Italics won't turn off....?)
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(happened to me too once)
Smoke made a raspberry noise. He was infuriatingly stubborn, and it was really rather strange that he so rejected everything she was saying. It was almost like he was trying to reject it.
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Why do you want to believe you're a bad guy so much? Why don't you want me to care about you? Spirit continued to pester him with questions.
Off in the distance, in thoughts desperate from the conversation, her subconscious was not shutting up about the similarities between him and Shadow. For some reason, since she had said the hedgehog's name, it had just gotten louder and louder.
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It doesn't matter!! Smoke screeched. I don't matter! I shouldn't matter! I should never, ever matter!! Why would I ever matter?!!