Roleplay Training ~

Welcome to Training! Now, I thought it might be fun to start a little thread here for anyone who might want to sharpen up their skills, or get a few tips on how to improve your writing (because everyone knows there's always room for improvement!)

I will be here to help you. I can help with many, many things regarding writing. I know a lot about grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, sentence structure, paragraphing (I know about it...doesn't mean I like splitting things into paragraphs. [It's a lot easier on the eyes if you do, though.) and a lot more!

What I can do aswell is help with making your posts more exciting! Adding exclamation marks where there can be, but doesn't have to be, using synonyms, and stuff like that.

What I can do is get you to write a little bit (maybe a small paragraph) and I will give you a few pointers on how to improve it. I will educate, but not be too specific on what can be improved, and I will leave it up to you to see if you can use your own imagination (which I'm sure you can do).

It's never a bad idea to review!

~Pixie_Stix~

Bump

Fighter? Well, I'm sure I can help you if you need help with writing.
Just write down a few sentences (preferably ones that go together) and I'll work from there. :)

(bumping again... -sigh-)

Yes, of course. Improving is always nice. You can post whatever length, I don't mind! :)

Prongs wrote:

A light-colored toroiseshell padded alongside the river, ~>>her green eyes scanning the moving water rapidly as she tried to find fish.<<~ Her eyes fell on a small group of wriggling prey, and she moved into position over the water.~>> Raising her paw, and making sure that her shadow hadn't fallen onto the river, she hesitated for a moment before lashing out into the water, scooping out two of the slower fish.<<~ She quickly snapped their necks, ~>>placing them over in the reeds where only she could find them again.<<~ Then, Gingertuft moved further ~>>upstream, looking for another group of small fish.<<~

Suddenly, she was distracted by a loud squawking. Weird. She'd never heard anything like that before near the river - or anywhere, for that matter. Curiously moving towards the sound; the fish had all fled in fear, so there was no point in staying, the Riverclan she-cat's eyes moved up towards the spot where she'd heard the squawk.

Very nicely written! Now, how about seeing if you can add any adjectives to the sentences with ~>>...<<~ around them.

Note: I didn't point out the whole sentence, so you can just think of things you can add in between the markers. Think: What, When, Where, Why, How!

~my friend made this not me~~~~

A handsome tabby with orange and red stripes walked along the branch of a tree, he was loner no family or clan to walk beside him.
His eyes flickered to an stunning event, a she-cat was chased by her clan! it looked as if they thought they crossed the border so they turned around he blood on their claws.
The she droped down dieing when he jumped off the branch, a kit was in her jaws a black kit with a little white on his mouth. He now understood they didnt want the kit in their clan so they threw it out hopeing death he should know that is what happend to him. He picked up the kit and walked looking for a queen to nurse this kit.

~~

Alright. Just a few mistakes, but that'll be cleared up in no time!

Let's start with the simple spelling mistakes I put in bold.

These are mistakes that everyone makes at least once in their lifetime, and I've met a lot of people who still do it. The trick to remembering is in the vowels. (A, E, I, O, U)

When you see a pattern inside a word that goes: vowel, consonant, vowel. The second vowel makes the first one a long sound. This mostly goes for words that end in either a, e, i, o, or u.

Examples: To "Shave" or "Shaving" See how I took out the "E"? The E's purpose in "Shave" is to make the "A" make a long sound. The E is replaced by the I in "Shaving" because the I serves the same purpose, and creates the needed sound for "Shaving". Got it?

Yes, that is great! Now,

Prongs wrote:

Suddenly, she was distracted by a loud squawking.~>> Weird.<<~ She'd never heard anything like that before near the river - or anywhere, for that matter. Curiously moving towards the sound; the fish had all fled in fear, so there was no point in staying, the Riverclan she-cat's eyes moved up towards the spot where she'd heard the squawk.
[font=trebuchet ms]

My suggestions for that would be to (in my style) put it in italics and make it as if she was thinking that (or use whatever style you'd like) or you can add it to either the previous or following sentence

Yeah, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, let's assume you did it already.

Alright, try writing a response including the things we went over (not the phrases, but the concept of adjectives).

Let's make this interesting:

The large black rottweiler bowled through the underbrush. His powerful bark and beady eyes were enough to discourage even the strongest warrior. Dodging through the trees, head lifted, he caught the scent of cat. He changed direction swiftly and sped at a break-neck speed towards the source of the scent. He soon found the cat and launched himself from the forest growth and into the shady clearing. He landed heavily and sent up clouds of reddish dust into the air, making it hard to see, and even harder to believe your eyes. The patches of sunlight dancing through the little clearing and making shapes in the misty dirt, settling slowly to the ground. He crouched and stalked silently towards his unsuspecting victim, thanks to his superb sense of smell.

Very good! See, there's always something you can add. Now, try writing a whole new sample in response to mine. Try and see if you can get it so I can't find anything to add or change. Now, this is almost impossible, because everyone thinks differently, but just try your best! ;)

Just treat it like a real RP. You can be a cat, or another dog, or whatever happens to end up in the clearing, it's up to you. Anything but my character.

That was great, and you used good adjectives without overdoing it. That's a tip to remember: Although using description is great, don't go overboard and add in more than necessary. There's a difference between good role-playing, and trying way to hard. Now, is there anything else you'd like to learn about?

I can't think of anything. You're always welcome to come back later if you find something, though.