I always needed time on my own
The first moon of his life was that of a birds. He spent days in what he liked to call an egg, slandered from the outside world, every peeping second he heard something, he began to panic. A Panic Disorder is what they called it, and that's what had fit the newborn. He was different, and they could tell. "Curtis." his mother had said in a sweet-silky voice, "Curtyy, my dear!" that was his name she had announced. Back then, it had meant everything.
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
At two moons of age he was walking on two wobbly legs, keeping his voice down as his mother slept and his father drank (or so his mother had told him). By then he learned his mother's name, Terrypaw, and his father, Grant. Terrypaw he had noticed, was a medicine cat apprentice of Acardianclan, at two moons he felt proud of that. At this age, he also learned that his siblings were older than him. He stuck around his mother less and less by the day, but despite his shy tendencies he was quite the traveler, but never left for too long without his mother, because he loved her.
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
At three moons he was play-fighting with an older horse who's name had been forgotten throughout time. His anxiety swelled up a bit more after his mothers death. Curtis began to wonder off quite a lot, and in time, he had left the clan. Three moons old, he had wondered and left. Curtis my dear! his mother had called for hours but no answer, because she was dead, and he was imagining it, and because he didn't want to answer. he wanted to continue on he wanted to live. At three moons old, he had figured out his whole world, little did he know the walls would come crashing down.
And the bed where you lie
At four moons he traveled alone, nothing exciting happened in this time period except survival. He had to survive, be good and make history. A four moon old horse, that was really in for a surprise. He traveled and ate grass and slept under great oaks. In winter he would perch up against a tree and drink in the light of the sun. He would even sneak into pastures and go into the barns with the other horses secretly, because when it's below freezing point, a horse doesn't make it long.
Is made up on your side
At five moons he had left further than necessary and stumpled upon a place called the Skulls. He settled in rather well and stayed for many days. The members were not very welcoming though, and in that moon of his like he often regretted not staying in Acardianclan after his mothers death. Because who wouldn't?
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
At six moons he remained in the Skulls and became an apprentice. Despite the honor he was given of training in the ways of a warrior, Curtis left without a single item to himself. Just a rotted mouse he called food. In this period his anxiety had peeked rather bad, and he hid in his own shadow before noticing he had a problem that he knew he couldn't fix. What was he to do? They didn't make medicine for his kind? He just had to live with it, sparking a depression beyond others, and contributing to two of his attempted suicides.
[b][i]Do you see how much I need you right now?[/i][/b]
One of the suicide attempts had contained a lion. He had payed the lion to slit his throat, and with lash, the lion did so, but missing arteries. Curtis bleed, but did not die. He even let the birds pick at him while he was laying there he wanted to be dead so bad.
When your gone
At seven moons the horse had died after a suicide and came back in the body of a white feline. He accepted this body and continued on, his depression and anxiety gone through sheer medical magic. Or nature magic. or reincarnation magic. But he had moved on to a new chapter of his life, he was going back home! To his parents.
The pieces of my heart are missing you
To find his parents was a failed mission, on his way, he stumbled upon three chatting cats about starting a clan, and he being as excited as he was to be starting fresh decided to join this pact. He was active for weeks then was promoted to Medicine cat apprentice, a Tidal the leader loved him withholding. Ah, the leader of Cherryclan, Cherrystar. He had loved her very much, or as most as he could for a seven moon old, but that two was short lived.
When you're gone
At eight moons he left Cherryclan, after Cherrystar fell in love with her deputy. He had ran in tears and forgot all about love. He had called his mothers name in vein, his fathers too. He gave up on starclan, everything, and in return, he renamed himself in that forest, when his pain hit him like a stone. Jellopaw. The name for him, and he vowed never to let anyone see his pain, to cover it up.
The face I came to know is missing too
Jellopaw set out to make his promise true, and he joined a clan he had found. Tidalclan. This was the beginning of a stretch man had made like a road. He was just a lost little cat, but little did he know, in time his world would be complete. And at the climax of his perfect world, everything would come tumbling down. because it always did, for some reason... Why was the world like this he didn't know. But at that time he also knew it wouldn't get any better.
When you're gone
He was in the shadows for the longest time, he said nothing to anyone and fell into a spell of inactivity. This is when he took the personality of his vowel, bubbly, kind and overall charming. This was something he felt he would never be able to hold, because it felt so wrong in so many ways... Because it wasn't him. He was the shy boy named Curtis who liked to stick around his mother and study herbs. But he changed because of who he had been, and to him, the past was a hell of a lot worse than it was then.
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
At nine moons he was bitten by a rattle snake and forced into a younger cat body, which looked almost identical to his old one except two blue eyes instead of green, which he liked. At this period of time, Jellopaw had finished creating his vision of the world and decided it was time to come from the shadows. Because he couldn't live like this forever could he, and if he did that would be hell on earth because... Because well he wouldn't be living. He'd be hiding.
And make it OK
At his mental and physical state of eight moons (due to his body change) he because extremely active, and a cat named Killian promoted him. How he had loved Killian, so active and loving to his girlfriend Ladystar, the leader. The two fit so perfect. he wore a hook and talked like a pirate and that's what he had loved so much about him. it was the way he was, the way they were together. In no time the two had became best friends, co-workers. His depression faded slightly, not entirely.
I miss you
When he was eight and a half moons old he fell in love with a she-cat named Radiopaw. He loved her so, she was like nothing else he had ever seen and he just wanted to hold her and let her go. Even with Cherrystar as Curtis (which he forbidden himself to talk about), he hadn't felt the way he was with Radiopaw. So in time, he asked her out, and surprisingly, she said yes, and the two came together and his depression faded entirely without another question asked. Because he was in love.
I've never felt this way before
But more had happened, him and her had hooked up and soon Radiopaw was pregnant with his children, which he was overjoyed with. As well as this he had created many things getting ready for the young arrivals at any time, being the way he was he just expected them to pop out waving there little paws and calling him daddy one day. But they didn't. At this time he changed his name to prayerpaw.
Everything that I do reminds me of you
There was also a time he had told Radiopaw he would take a bullet for her, just kidding like. He promised no bullets would be shot, but the next day, he was out walking then chased by dogs and hunters, quickly but surely he took a bullet to the shoulder for the love of his life Radiopaw. He had witnessed intense pain, nearly died, but smiled.
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
At nine moons in his new cat body, he had fallen blind after taking a nap one day, and discovered he had a rare case of primary Glaucoma. Which sucked, but it was true. In time he accepted this, but not without falling into depression further. because what father wants to be blind after the news he was going to be a dad soon, and the love of his life was birthing them? He would never see their lovely faces or... or anything!
And they smell just like you,
At nine moons Radiopaw also broke up with him. Leaving him heartbroken and hurt, but he accepted it. He accepted it because he had to, he needed to. But the both had promised they would still share the kits, which he was glad of. But that made his depression spiral out of control so far, to the point Curtis was beginning to come out. Prayerpaw was drowning in a pool of sorrows, and he couldn't stop the pain.
I love the things that you do
A few moons earlier he had discovered his parents had lied to him (about the time he took the bullet). Terrypaw was not his mother and Grant was not his father, his father was a cat named Skuldurry, and he was also the father of Killian. the two bestfriends had become brothers through fate and chance. But after this, a spirit had came down to him, his mother, in a dream saying she had received her full warrior name. Terrykisses. She said she had come down to Acardianclan and asked maystar to give it to her.
We were made for each other
At this time Prayerpaw told his mother he knew all about her scam, and Terrypaw not only admitted to not being his mother but having multiple affairs with her clanmates besides her two boyfriends. Yes, two boyfriends. At this time prayerpaw disowned his mother and told her he would rather die than deal with her being how she was. So then, the two departed.
Out here forever
At ten moons he received an early ceremony to warrior by Dean Wincherson. A current adviser. He became Prayerlies, and went on to be very grumpy for the next few weeks of his life. Not because he had wanted to, but because Curtis was coming out and he couldn't hide it. His anxiety was coming back as was his anger and hatred towards the world. But he kept his depression really well hidden for a cat like he was.
I know we were, yeah, yeah
A little after his sprout of becoming a warrior, he was attacked by an unknown cat (who later turned out to be a former leader, murder and r.pist, of not only the Tribe of Burning Eclipse, but a Minnie clan called Crimsonclan.) After the attack, he became a dog and was able to see again. he claimed to have his old personality back, and most everyone believed him. Except he had planned everything. He had planned on telling them that if he were ever hurt... And he did. But his vision came back, so that did cause fading depression, but not a complete personality regain.
All I ever wanted was for you to know
He became close with Stacy, and after some time, the two became friends with benefits, whatever that meant, without officially dating. At the same time he was crushing on an soon-to-be eventplanner named Nowalski, and Still loving and missing Radiopaw. But of course, Nowalski wasn't around as much and Stacy and him... They didn't have a future, he decided to make things right with Radiopaw, who was now heavily pregnant with his kits from his former body.
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul
He had asked out Radiopaw, and she said no, breaking his heart once more as he faded away. The muse dropping by the moment as he called off friends with benefits with Stacy, though they both agreed it was nothing serious, Stacy did like him a lot more than he did her... Which killed him inside. But what was he to do now? Heart broken and alone. The male converted, fully gay.
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me, yeah
At the same time he discovered he was bipolar by self determination. Which everyone else had aleady known. he was yet to show he was gay though, and figured that could wait. oddly enough, he still loved Radiopaw though. Maybe it was the memories they shared... Or maybe he was bisexual leaning towards males. Had radiopaw broken him that bad he could never be seen with another female? No. he was just him. But radiopaw's heartbreak had played an effect...
When you're gone
At the age of eleven moons old, Radiopaw gave birth to their kittens. Five beautiful young souls, three boys, two girls. Radiopaw had named them all but he loved them very much. One especially. Sleighridekit. It was a shame he wouldn't be around much longer to be there father, when that is what they so utterly deserved. But he loved them very much from the start, Cross even took after Radiopaw. They were perfect.
The pieces of my heart are missing you
The same day he got demoted for not being around newbies too much because of his depression. So with that pain, he just decided it was time he went. He couldn't go on like this an he knew God only gave you what you could take and he couldn't take it. He didn't know what to do though, because he would never assume suicide. Though that was a good option, it wasn't his.
When you're gone
But there, there had been a mishap as he was thinking. He had noticed a kit on the other side of the road across the mall, it was under adged and hurt, it was crying, and having the sanity he did, he had bolted across the road to save the child. Except...
The face I came to know is missing too
He hadn't seen the car.... The lights were off in the rising sun and it was green like the color of grass. it had giant tires and an even larger sticker on the front of the hood that read, 'roadkill' which is exactly what you are expecting to happen. Prayerlies hadn't seen it, only wanting to help the kit, and a collision could be heard as medal kit the dog. He hadn't seen the car...
When you're gone
Blood was dragged in tire tracks across the road, his body parts had been crushed and had popped from his belly. He had blood falling from his lower lip, his eyes, everything. he couldn't stand because his backside bones had been crushed flat. He was half now, in such pain, he went into shock rather quickly. The scene was gruesome, but no one came back to help him. His eyes were wide and face open. Even the kit just left him for dead.
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
The kitten he was dying for had left him for dead. He came in and out of shock, but for his final moments, the collie remained out of shock, his eyes wide as the pain hit him. He had no words, he didn't know what to say, what to do. it was too late for help, and suddenly, he didn't want to die, he wanted to stay with his clanmated and eat mice, so tears began leaking from his face. No, no... I can't leave them! My kids! What was I thinking!" but it was too late, his time was limited.
And make it OK
His vision began to blur, and everything in his world began to swirl out of control. What was he to do? He couldn't die like this... But he was. So young, he had mapped out his world, then watched it fall, as I had mentioned in the second or third paragraph. He thought of his kids, and he just, he had no words, he didn't know what to do. he knew he wasn't coming back, that had happened three times and it was impossible again. Cats have nine lives right? Well this one only had one.
I miss you
But as he struggled for air, eyes closing, he was able to spit out a few words that would make all the difference, between all the blood and guts, his tears made a separate puddle. Flowed away, and touching not one of the other substances. His breathing heavied, and shock began to build up in his eyes. "T-tell radiop-paw, t-tell t-the k-kids, t-tell them I-I l-love them..." he began, whispering because his lungs had collapsed, "T-tell Killian I-I lo-love him, t-tell glassk-kit I lo-love her, a-and she was a-an a-amaz-zing e-early a-appren-ntice..." he gulped, how could he sum this all up? "T-tell la-lady-star I t-trust h-her j-judgment... T-tell m-magn-numki-kisses I-I t-think s-she was an a-amaz-zing h-h-h-heir..." he coughed some more, "Tell G-ginny.... S-she was m-my b-best-friend, b-besi-ides K-killi-ian..." he said, "T-tell P-Pastelp-paw I m-miss-ed work-king with h-her..." he was dying... He had to finish this, "t-tell st-stacy, nowalski.... A-and ev-everyone t-they a-are amaa-amazing people..." he was almost done, "T-tell R-radi-iopaw I-I w-will n-never fo-orget h-her... A-and will a-always b-be wi-with her... I-I love her..." then he had to finish this, closing his eyes, he managed to whisper out, "t-tell m-malkyn s-she's a-a gru-umpy a-ass b-but I lov-ve her, a-and, I want m-my final words to be," he laughed, because this next part would obviously be a joke. But before he finished, he flipped his middle finger up, "* the c-courts-system M-malkyn, a-and f-* y-you t-too y-y-you lo-lovable ass-hole..." and there, the former sentinel, died.
I miss you
[hr][hr]
I have enjoyed roleplaying with all of you. The chances are he is not coming back but I am not deleting his subaccount. And as for his last words, towards Malkyn, he was not being mean, he was being funny c; xD famous last words
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listen to Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone while listening