you and i walk a fragile line [PRIVATE FOR THOR] i have known it all this time

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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; letter-spacing: -1px;]// crappy post because I'm on my phone (:


    SunClan had changed so much since the red and white tabby cat had last called this place home. in the time of her childhood the clan had inhabited a schoolhouse and were known for their cheerfulness and open warmth. that was when colouredstar reigned, and the same could be said for lovestar's reign! but as permafrost climbed the ranks of sunclan things changed quite dramatically. it was when he was leader that Faunalife really faded away, when the clan had turned completely anti-clan. no longer were they friendly and cheerful, instead they were rude and viscous. sure, faunny's father the notorious sabretooth/star might have loved that type of atmosphere but the red tabby girl was nothing like her father. in fact if one were to ask her who her father was then in most cases she would shrug and say she wasn't sure. those who knew of her father would understand why she didn't want to be known as his daughter. i mean, the man had castrated fauna's mate when she had become pregnant... but it seemed that after the 'phase' SunClan went through under permafrost' leadership that they came back stronger than ever. once again they were re friendly ad cheerful cats of the tabby's memories.


    it had taken a lot of guts for the young lady to come back to SunClan. when she was there she had been labelled a vixen and a whore by her own brother, she had fallen in and out of love and broken many hearts - along with her own. yet she had returned, hoping that SunClan could offer her a new beginning and a second chance at the life she had *ed. upon returning she had found her son nelon and her once-lover thor. despite wanting to start again in life finding those two in SunClan had been her greatest joy! in her glee at finding them she had wanted to embrace thor just out of sheer pleasure at seeing him again! but the thought of thor's mate, espie, kept Faunalife at bay. gods, if the girl was still around she would murder Faunny for laying a paw on Thor!


    now, laying down in the warmest spot the tabby cat had managed to find, the blue eyed feline wondered if he was up to anything. would now be a good time to seek out his company?
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    [size=5pt][c] praetor dreamíe —[/size]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 500px;][justify]Thor often looked in mirrors, perhaps too much. He would stare at himself, emotionless and still. Sometimes, he liked what he saw; he worked for his body and he found his many scars a sign of his manliness. However, occasionally, he would see the loss of a juvenile happiness in his dark orbs and find himself wondering the last time he was ever truly content with his life. No longer was there a sense of blitheness and joyous in his chartreuse visionaries. . . instead, they were somber and he sincerely knew he was sick at heart.


    Leaving his house, shutting the door behind him with a heavy thrust of his upper-thigh, Thor took a deep inhale through his darkly freckled nose and suddenly felt a curious sense of nonchalance as his twin lanterns landed on the familiar tabby form. He was remorseful for the loss of their relationship and how beautiful it was, perhaps if wasn't so head-strong it could have worked. Maybe that's why he chose quiet little Espie, who he could protect but with the femme he was watching, he couldn't predict her. Lifting his chin slightly, the tabby took a few minutes to decide if he should go over to her.


    Deciding a yes, Thor took those steps awkwardly and his ears were pinned to the thin layer of fur on his head. "Faunalife." He finally spoke, his husky voice laced the silence and he touched the side of her furry face with his big paw. The paw that didn't withheld his marriage symbol, of course. Although it was tattered and falling apart, there it stayed, just like his love for his wife - a wife that he no longer had, and needed to get over in order to ever move on.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; letter-spacing: -1px;]Faunalife had been curious about whether or not espresso was still in SunClan and if she was still a part of thor's life right from the start when she saw the material band he wore. but with some quiet investigation and searching she had realised that, just like her, thor had been deserted by the one he had loved the most. one part of her wondered why he still held on, but the louder and larger section of her mind screamed that she knew the reason. because it was much less painful to hold onto a forgotten love than to admit that the one you loved above all else no longer wanted you or needed you. wasn't that why she had held on for so long anyways? it had taken her a huge amount of time to let go of the love that she had harboured for nineteen. in ways it was still there, just a small little tickle in the back of her mind now. no longer did that love hold the force of crashing waves and stormy skies... she had, even though it had hurt, admitted that he wouldn't be coming back this time.


    sitting in her warm patch of sunlight she had been completely tuned out to the world around her, lost in her thoughts as she so often was. that was until thor spoke and the familiar voice caused her ears to prick and her blue eyes to lock quickly on his own green ones. ah, she regretted how things had blown up between them. once she could have said she loved him, but things had gotten messy and she was so very sorry for that... as he spoke, just a simple word, she couldn't muster the strength to smile. watching as he moved she didn't pull back at the feel of his paw against her cheek. in her mind she was playing back all the times he had touched her so, his actions in the past had been so teasing and had left her wanting more... but now she didn't know what to think of them.


    "Thor." Faunalife found herself replying, her voice even and steady. it was odd really, talking to him when all those months ago they had stared at each other across the room with glowering eyes as they'd each snuggled by the side of the people they had called their mates. They had gone separate ways Thor and her and she found it ironic really that their paths should cross again. "I'm...." she wanted to say she was sorry for how things had ended between them. but she couldn't bring herself to really say it. instead she ignored the feeling completely, cleared her throat and spoke again.


    "How are you?" she asked, her unblinking blue eyes gazing at him.
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    [size=5pt][c] praetor dreamíe —[/size]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 500px;][justify][font=georgia]Thor was regretful to concede the inner urge to embrace like her had once done, wrap her in his big fuzzy arms and hold her beneath his chin whilst all his worries flittered from his brain like they had never once been there. Once again, his conscience was too strong and his loyalty to a girl he no longer knew was too vigorous. But, oh, how he wanted to.


    Hearing his name said, it brought back to many memories, too many times that he had been a thug and displaced his friends, his brother and his kids all in order to live up to his father's kingly life. Occasionally, he wondered if he could ever be a better person and stop being so overly obsessed with his muscles or sparring - though he had little will-power. He drew his ivory paw away as it lingered there, as if her skin was hot as fire and placed it next to the other one. The Knight's stance was strong, as if he was on guard, broad shoulders square and his spine was as straight as a pole - no one made Thor nervous or intimated, but in this situation, he couldn't help but feel a strain in his movements.


    Although he knew, if he wanted to, he could use his powers and make her feel whatever emotion he wanted towards him - he knew he couldn't, she had known him too well for him to manipulate her feelings.


    "I'm g-. ." He began, though stopped suddenly, his dark eyes closed momentarily and he took an audible sigh. Thor knew he couldn't lie to her, she would see straight through him and Thor was certainly, a lot of things but a liar, he was not. "Been better." His words were final, sharp and his gaze returned to her's instantly. "How have you been?" He meowed, it was feeble conversation, utterly useless when he looked back on how they used to converse so freely.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; letter-spacing: -1px;]watching him she marvelled at how strong and confident he appeared. never did he seem nervous, never did it look like he even tried to stay so composed! she on the other hand sat there forcing to keep her face blank and her body calm. as he lowered his paw, taking it from her face to rest back on the ground, she found herself growing frustrated. if there was one thing that Faunny hadn't lost it was her flaring temper! and now, as he unknowingly teased her so with that paw on her cheek, she was growing irritated. he was teasing her so perfectly and effortlessly without even realising it. sitting there with the material band on was like screaming in her face that she could never have him. placing that paw on her cheek was like walking her through every time he had touched her or flirted with her in his manly ways.


    as he spoke though she found herself coking an eyebrow, or she would if she had one, as he went to say he was good. for she of all people knew he wasn't good - or even okay. as he spoke again she nodded, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms and let him know that he'd get through it. because of she, the teenage vixen and whore, had gotten through it then he definitely could. "i think we've both been better before." fauna meowed in response, sighing slightly. for a moment she had honestly thought he was going to continue with that lie of being fine...


    "i know you're hurting thor... and i'm... i'm sorry." the red and white tabby cat meowed, hoping that he would know that she was apologising for so much more than his loss of espie...
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    [size=5pt][c] praetor dreamíe —[/size]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]Thor nodded silently at her words, though he struggled to remember a feeling other than his internal emptiness that darkened his heart. He had always been a slightly troubled guy, sometimes he wished he could be normal, but he knew he couldn't - he knew he was an asshole, he was hardly nice half the time but he had this indescribable sunless and effortless charm that balanced out his easily dis-likable personality.


    As her sentence continued, his ears fell further to his head and he threw his head to the side with an inwards growl. "Don't feel sorry for me, Fauna." The Knight grumbled, he wanted to remain strong in front of anyone, and this still remained for the girl who had known him his whole life. Dark eyes closing for a moment, he realized his shortness and rudeness as soon as he spoke and he took a small step forwards on ivory peppered paws, the bracelet entwined around the left shifted softly at his movements.


    "I mean . ." Thor tried to revive himself, letting his rump fall casually to the grassy ground as he became a comfortable distance away from Faunalife- perhaps too close, since the tabby had little concern for social boundaries and personal space. "I'm sorry, you know I hate being pitied." It was rare that the tabby ever apologized but since he had started, why stop here?


    "I'm sorry for how I treated you, you didn't deserve that." Faunalife may have been renowned for her vixen ways back when they were apprentices, but Thor was not an innocent either nor was the way he turned his back on her when things got rough. "I'm just . . .so sorry." He didn't know who he was talking to; her, himself or Espresso- for gazing too tenderheartedly in to the eyes of his ex girlfriend.

    The post was edited 1 time, last by T H O R ().

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; letter-spacing: -1px;]so maybe apologising had dug them into an emotional hole... but it had needed to be said. Faunalife needed him to know that she was so so so sorry for everything she had done. ears twitching as he spoke she sighed slightly, shaking her head. why couldn't their life have been simple and easy? probably because that would have been way too easy. as he apologised the corner of her mouth twitched slightly, blue eyes shining. "You've got nothing to apologise for." she responded, tracking his movements with tenerife hued eyes as he sat down a little closer to her.


    Faunalife had dug them into this emotional pit and now maybe she should get them out. because if she didn't she feared really messing things up with thor. forcing a smile to grace her face she reached out a paw to nudge him in a playful way, just as she used to when they were younger. "honestly though! when did you come back to SunClan? you gave me the surprise of my life when you appeared." the red and white tabby cat explained, keeping a cheery tone in her voice. she was completely determined to lighten the mood here.
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    [size=5pt][c] praetor dreamíe —[/size]

    [align=center][font=georgia]It was in Knight's best interest to plead his wrongs to her, since he knew deep down how many errors he had made regarding her. A strike of guilt across his angular face and the tom found his gaze looking through her rather than at her. With every battle he had experienced and every ounce of blood that's been shed, his feelings were corrupting him from the inside out. Thor knew back then he had meant to hurt her, make her feel his pain - but now he wished he hadn't been so selfish.


    As her paw nudged playfully against his broad shoulder, no force had little effect on him and he stayed perfectly still, his expression still stayed completely and utterly serious. He hadn't really told anyone where he had went, he rarely told any of these people anything - most of them weren't his friends, just his clanmates. Finally, the husky-voiced male finally spoke after a few moments of silence.


    "Only about 3 weeks . . . where did you go?"

    The post was edited 1 time, last by T H O R ().

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: -1px;][size=8]"Only about 3 weeks . . . where did you go?" As he spoke, his voice still utterly serious to match the look on his face her smile faded and she decided to just roll with it. But the question hit home. Where had she gone? In all honesty Faunalife couldn't name the places she had gone. For months she had just walked, so sad and weary that she didn't even have the heart to cry. Once Nineteen had disappeared all of her happiness and spirit had too. It had taken her a long time to realise that there was still hope for a life without the solid blue tom-cat. That time she had spent walking, wanting to be anywhere but the places where they had shared so many memories.


    "I walked," Fauna meowed simply, her blue eyes flickering off the handsome tom-cat to stare into the thin air in front of her. "For a long time. Once he was gone it was as if he had taken all of me with him... I couldn't stay and so I left. I didn't tell anyone I was going I just went," As she spoke Faunalife felt the harsh memories of days and weeks and months spent talking to no one and just walking. "I walked for a long time... Mainly because I couldn't face the fact that he could leave me and that I wasn't good enough for him anymore." The flame pelted she explained, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as she told her tale. "Eventually? Well eventually I realised he wasn't coming back, I realised that life went on without him. The world didn't stop just because his love did. So eventually I just came home."


    As she finished speaking she looked back at him, blinking her blue eyes softly. "And you? Where did you go?" Came her querying words. Where Thor had disappeared to had been a subject of interest for the flame-pelted she-cat.
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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]Thor noticed how her pretty smile faded though he did little about it. Plus, the talk of Nineteen agitated the Knight - he hadn't seen him in so long but he still remembered how much he loathed that blue tom and how much he teased him when he got castrated. It seemed at times that the tabby lacked a moral compass, or he just didn't listen to it.


    He sucked in his gaunt cheeks, chewing upon the side of his mouth till he felt an unpleasant linger of metaly blood on his tongue. Thor knew he felt pity for her, though he couldn't help but wonder how she could have just walked away . . .then he remembered how many times he had so he closed of the thoughts instantly. Momentarily, he wanted to tell her that she was good enough - good enough for anyone but it was too sickly for his tongue so he kept his ivory maw shut.


    His response to her story was a tilt of his head, her words spoke to him in a way that no one else did and he continued to wonder if he could apply her experience to his current one. Though when her question turned back to him, Thor's chin raised and his torn ears fell to his skull. It was apparent how his nostrils flared and there was a familiar fire in his chartreuse visionaries. "I was taken by some animals at the border . . I had gone too far out of Sunclan territory when hunting and . .I don't know what happened after, my memories are messed up, I just knew how much pain I was in all the time. One day, I escaped, though I didn't know who I was or where I came from - but I wandered here and soon, I started remembering things again."


    The tabby missed out the part of the story when he regained his memories of his past and broke-down in front of everyone, when he ran through the Cathedral breaking everything in sight and throwing fists at mirrors. It was much too dark a time for him to talk about.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: -1px;][size=8]As she watched the tom's reaction to her words she realised that the subjects of their past love affairs were always going to be hard. Thor didn't want to hear about Nineteen and she herself didn't want to hear of a Espie. Closing her blue eyes for another moment she felt a memory flash before her eyes. Two actually. The time that, as kits, Thor had held her cheek with his paw (just like he had before) and had confessed to being jealous of Coldkit and Ninekit. Then the time he'd taken her out on a 'date' in the junkyard with the picnic rug and the fairy lights... It was there he had told her that one day he would be in love with her. But that day had never come, had it? For here they were now talking awkwardly both recovering from past loves. They had been good for each other though, she knew that. The two had levelled each other out, brought out the best in each other. Yet of course she had screwed up everything there.


    Watching as Thor's ears moved to becomes pinned to his head she regretted asking what happened to him straight away. But as he spoke she felt herself almost choke on the air she was breathing in. Everyone, everyone, had thought that he had left Espie. That he had simply had enough of it and walked away. Honestly Faunalife wasn't sure why she ever believed that, because she had known Thor too well to think he would walk away. But at the time she had believed it, because she was in a pit of sadness that felt, at the time, as if there was no way out of it. Yet he had tried, he had tried so hard to come back that eventually he did... Even though he was hurt and sore he fought so hard to get back. Watching him she forced herself not to speak words of sympathy for she knew the red tabby tom would not accept her pity. Nor would he appreciate it.


    "Everyone just thought you had left - for the longest time we all thought you had just gotten up and walked away from the family you had with... her." Fauna explained quietly, finding it much too hard to say the name of the she-cat that had succeeded in winning Thor's heart where she had not. "I guess I should've known though - you were always much too loyal and brave for your own good."
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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]Ultimately, her words had offended him.


    He cared so much for his image - to remain mighty and respected, to hear that his friends had doubted him caused his lip to curl over his white teeth. Thor knew he could control his inner anger occasionally, but there was that far too familiar look in his eyes when he heard something he didn't want to hear. He shook his heavy head, slowly, whilst his glowing green eyes flickered downwards.


    ..He took his sweet time to reply, and raised himself from his sitting position when he had done so. "Well, none of them truly knew me then." His words were like venom to his own tattered ears as he spoke, Thor stayed loyal to those he loved though when he didn't feel utterly and always appreciated, he would leave and find someone who treated him like a God like he so loved to be.


    Thor gave an audible sigh, his shoulders slumped as he did so. "Yes . . you should have known." He meowed, letting his dark eyes fall back in to line with hers whilst his angular features slowly relaxed and he let a steady grin make its way upon his ivory maw.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: -1px;][size=8]As the fem watched him she realised her choice of words had offended him. Faunalife had offended him stupidly and without meaning to.... As he spoke she felt her eyes narrow. "Well, none of them truly knew me then." Gods, she never meant to insult him with those words. If she didn't know him as well as she did the the tabby cat might have apologised straight away for her words. Yet she had learnt through a lifetime of knowing Thor that he didn't accept pity, sympathy or apologies.


    "I didn't mean for it to sound like that, Thor." Faunalife meowed, watching as a grin filled his face. Gosh that crooked grin was the one that she had fallen in love with and she couldn't help but give a soft smile back. "Thor..." She murmured, watching him with a soft blue twinkling gaze. "It was a privilege to love you - I don't regret ever loving you." Faunny added; she may regret how it ended but she didn't regret loving him. No, she would never regret falling in love with the handsome tom-cat.
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    He knew she hadn't meant anything wrong by her words, she was just being honest and the copper boy appreciated honesty highly so. The tension in the air seemed to fade and as did the strength in his form and sharpness of his expression. It took only a snap of the finger for Thor to differ in between his two main characteristics; proud and easily agitated to being princely charming. His lazy grin was apparent on his ivory peppered paw whilst his brow arched at her words, as a dark chuckle rises from his alabaster throat, the Knight took a step forward and turned on his heels so he was side-by-side with Faunalife, purposely pushing his battle-scarred flank to her's.


    "I know it was." He growled playfully, turning his head to face her. Thor was known for a cockiness about him, and that certainly didn't change, even when he was completely worked to the bone by those rogues that had catnapped him. Although his toothy grin remained, his brows furrowed and he leant further in.

    "You can't fall out of love, it doesn't work like that." The Knight murmured, already becoming horribly awkward about the talk of love. Thor truly did hate the ghastly thing and occasionally hated himself for becoming consumed by it, but he knew deep down that when a love ends- slithers remain, always. Although he felt uncomfortable talking about feelings he knew he didn't really have to put a front in front of her, she knew him inside out, like no one else did.


    His dark eyes coursed over her face, flickering over the details as he took in an inhale through his freckled nose.


    "You still love me."

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 450px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: -1px;][size=8]Stop! Faunalife wanted to scream the words at the tom-cat as he moved on ivory paws to sit behind her. Then she wanted to groan out of mere frustration as he pressed his fiery pelt against hers. It felt like old times having his warmth by her side, pressed against her making her feel like she belonged somewhere. But he didn't want her and he, probably without realising it, was teasing her so with his actions. The way he had held her chin in his large paw and now as he pressed close against her, leaning his chiseled head forwards to speak. As he murmured about not falling out of love she felt her heartbreaking - because it was true, wasn't it? You didn't fall out of love, that's why his arms felt like home and his smile was able to melt her. He on the other hand had never fallen in love with her, so he had left her with ease. Or so she believed anyway...


    "You still love me." Upon hearing those words she felt the breath catch in her throat. Blue eyes moving from his dark ones to her paws the feline didn't reply for a moment and instead sat staring off into the distance. "Of course I do," Faunalife finally murmured, turning her blue luminaries back to watch him. "Does it really surprise you though? You were the world to me, Thor - you still are." The flame pelted she added to her previous statement, a soft and somewhat sad smile on her.


    "But you hated me and I deserved that. Espresso was good to you and won your heart where I was never enough. I'm happy you moved on, I'm happy you found the one you love - even if she was taken from you much too soon."
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    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]As her gaze left him, he took his time to study for her face further - brows furrowed with a certain confusion beneath his calm demeanour. Thor didn't appreciate beauty, he would never look gracefully at a sunset nor gaze in to the large moon with gratitude. However he acknowledged her blue luminaries and ginger fur with a certain admiration that was rare for the Knight, especially in his most recent troubling days.


    His smile grew at her words which petted his ego gently and let his gaze fall slightly as a little however dark chuckle raised from his throat. "I didn't hate you, I was immature and self-obsessed, I was no better than you." The tabby met her gaze once again, letting his ears fall to his skull whilst pushing softly against her side, enjoying the comfort of the feline.


    He drew in a sharp breath, cocking his head slightly whilst his visionaries seemed to look through her rather than past her. "But . . . I can't move on again. I don't understand, I just can't forget. I can't do anything without thinking of her and I know she's gone but . .I just can't." The copper tabby dropped his head so his nose was pushed in to the fur of her shoulder. He knew it wasn't healthy to stay utterly in love with a girl he didn't know anymore, but he felt so guilty leaving their memories behind.

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    "I was immature and self-obsessed." The words almost prompted a laugh from the red tabby cat, although they did earn Thor a bemused grin from Fauna. Once she would've paid a good deal of money to ever live to see the day that Thor called himself immature. Yet here he was now, pressing himself lightly against her telling her he was no better than she had been. "I swear half the clan would've paid good money to hear you say that back then," Fauna teased, a good hearted smile on her maw. "Especially when you were a kit, because boy did you act the hero." Her tone was teasing although it was openly friendly and playful. No harm was meant by her words, which was obvious by the smile that went with them.


    Tensing for just a moment as Thor pushed his nose against her shoulder she almost let out a groan. Why? Why did he insist on this? He was always so close, so tantalisingly close and yet still so far away. Just how far out of reach he was to Faunalife became apparent as he spoke, telling her that he couldn't just forget. It was just like how she'd felt with Nineteen, she found it simply unbearable to move on. But eventually she had realised something - wouldn't he have wanted her to be happy? So she had moved on, slipping off the wedding band and burying it where it was safe. "I know Thor, I know..." The fem murmured, her voice calm and almost soothing. If she could ease his pain and make him forget what had happened then god knows she would! But she couldn't, so all she could do was sit there and try to be content with his closeness. But he would never be hers. He might hold her close and appear affectionate, but he wasn't hers. He still belonged to the girl named Espresso who was nowhere to be found.


    Sighing slightly she blinked at him through pretty blue eyes. "I think she would want you to be happy..." The fem found herself murmuring, not 100% sure what she meant by it as she sat there. His body was pressed against hers and his head was on her shoulder. On the inside it was killing her. He was so close and yet so very far away.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]"I still do."


    He returned her teasing light-heartedly, his voice muffled due to his muzzle nestled into the softness of her furry shoulder. Thor could hear his own heart-beat in his ears, his blood rushed through him as he listened to her words - his body always seemed to react in the same way when he spoke about Espresso; as if he was going through a melt down, every single time.


    Her soothing and calming voice helped him, he didn't feel so completely shattered. It was apparent that he was so terribly sick at heart, completely corrupt by his own memories. Even though he knew she was right, he found himself wondering what he would do if he returned to Sunclan to see her with someone else. Thor literally shuddered at the thought, it was inevitable to say that the copper tabby's anger issues would have imploded.


    "I guess, you're right." He meowed as he lifted his head from her shoulder to look back tenderly in to her blue eyes.

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px; width: 500px; text-align: justify][font=georgia]As he spoke she felt a small chill run up her spine, whether at the closeness of the muscular tom or having him speak in the fluffy fur of her shoulder. Fauna wanted to stop this, to end things before she got herself too deep into it to climb back out again. She loved him and he knew it, yet he didn't love her, which was something she probably could live with. Yet he insisted on still pressing himself against her and burying his face against her shoulder. Why, why did he do this to her when surely he must know how it was hurting her so?


    Once he had lifted his head from her shoulder and spoken she found her blue eyes staring into a tender pair of green eyes. The tenderness wasn't for her and she knew it - the tenderness was all for the girl that she wasn't, the girl she could never be: Espresso. Keeping her face blank and forcing down the feelings of sorrow she felt trying to boil over the red tabby cat took a deep and shuddering breath. This wasn't right, he couldn't do this to her again...


    "Thor," The feline breathed, the simple word sounding somewhat like a warning - and so it should! "Please... I... I may be strong but I can't handle that." Faunalife murmured quietly, her blue eyes looking straight up into his with a mournful sadness in them. "I'm going to be here for you, I won't leave you... But... Don't hold me close just to let me go again - it'll kill me. Your heart doesn't belong with me, it belongs with Espie. I know that and you're closeness doesn't make it easier for any of us." But this was how things always went right? Something went wrong and she was on her knees begging for things to work out. Fauna was always the one to love to much and to give much more than she was given. She was certain that one day it would be the death of her...

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px][justify][font=georgia]His gaze grew cold as she spoke, unveiling a muster of crippling emotions that Thor harboured beneath his manly demeanour. He had felt warm when she was pressed against his skin but now she wasn't, he felt a chill slide through his short pelt and he stood to his paws with a step back.


    He truly did want to engulf her in his fuzzy arms like he couldn't breathe and she was oxygen but her words had been to deathly honest for him to be able to. He wanted to hush her and tell her that he didn't belong with anyone and he most, he wanted to express how he would never let her go again but he knew she was so true. Perhaps he could have handled himself better but the Knight was completely unpredictable and his anger was mostly projected upon himself more than her.


    The silence between them was long, slow like the pulsing of blood behind a bruise. "Fine." His husky voice growled, as took another step back. He was angry because he couldn't hold her and that's truly all he wanted, more than anything else.
    "I don't need you to be there for me, Faunalife, I'm not a child."