.::People don't destroy the things they love::. (BxB) (Abuse)

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    "Ours." It was spoken softly despite the noise, but he hoped Jace would understand what his lips were saying. He kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke, as his head was still spinning on his shoulders from everything that had happened.


    See, the night before, Belle had been upset because Jace had gotten so rough with Kai and slammed him against a wall. She assumed that that was why Kai was upset too. However, it really wasn't. He couldn't have cared less about that- It was the screaming that upset him. The fact that he didn't understand who he'd taken away, and that he didn't understand why Jace continuously got drunk. He didn't think he'd ever find out, as he was expecting the worst when they got home.


    (At first I thought it was like a pedaled bike and I just imagined this alcoholic riding around on a bicycle xD)

    (Hahaha yeah I just like the way bike sounds better than saying Motorcycle all the time. Sorry bout the confusion there. XD

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    Jace pulled into their driveway and walked up to the house silently. When he got inside he took some time to think about how he was going to present Kai with what he had to say. He fiddled with the heater and made a big deal about it being too cold for them to talk yet, wasting time so that he could set himself straight. Finally he turned to Kai and motioned for him to take a seat. "So," He began, his voice a bit shaky from fear and pent up emotion. "Did you know that I haven't always been gay?" he asked Kai quietly.

    He muttered, "Yeah." He almost wanted to add, Belle helped me figure that one out. But he knew he wasn't in much of a position to get snappy with Jace, considering that his boyfriend just went to pick him up from another boy's house. With a small repeat, Kai said, "Yeah, I knew that." Here we go. Some cheating confession I all ready knew about.. He thought as he sat down and started playing with his sleeves again.

    "Well," Jace continued, his eyes darting around the room, unable to keep eye contact with Kai. "My last relationship was with a girl named Andrea." He admitted, his throat growing sore at the way it felt to say her name out loud for the first time in a long time. He forced himself to continue, before he could clam up. "She went to High School with me, and she was really awesome, I think you would have liked her." He smiled at the thought of Kai meeting Andrea. "In fact," He added, "She reminds me a lot of Belle. Very stubborn and crazy in her own way. Doesn't care what anyone thinks." He trailed off realizing he had to get to the point. "So, I'm telling you this because a few weeks ago, was her anniversary... well, my anniversary." He corrected himself, as he looked up at Kai for the first time since he'd began the story. "The anniversary of her death." He paused a second before going on. "You see, she was cheating and I knew it. The other guy she was with fit her better. Her family liked him and well... he didn't look like this." Jace explained referring to his pitch black hair and the tattoos on his arms and wrist as well as the piercing on his ear. "She was out with him the night she died, and it was because we were fighting. He ended up crashing the car, and he was the only one to walk away." By now Jace was fighting tears. He hadn't told this story in a long time. "I'm sorry," He said choking up a little, "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm a little distant sometimes. Or if I'm out too late and I drink too much, and most of all I'm sorry if I seem like I don't love you, because I do Kai, more than anything else in this whole damn world, I love you. And I'm sorry if I don't say it enough."

    Kai avoided eye contact as well, concentrating hard on his black hoodie sleeves. It didn't feel wonderful to hear about Jace's ex, not at all. Jealousy and sorrow for Jace's loss were the two main things in his mind, among other emotions. He was a little speechless for a second, before looking up. Actions speak a little louder than words, so he held his arms out for a hug and stood up. He tried to catch Jace's eyes for the first time that day as he did so. Despite this, he still tried to say at least something. "I.. I don't think it's right that you left me alone every night because you weren't over grieving someone, but.. I.. I'm really sorry about that, Jace." He swallowed and added, "And I'm sorry about last night."

    Jace had felt guilty too. Even though Kai had been the one who cheated, Jace felt as if he had pushed him there, and that he shared a piece of that blame. "I know Kai, it's no excuse for how I've treated you," he began as he saw Kai open his arms. "But you deserve to know, and I hope it clears the air a little." He breathed a little easier now that he got the past off his shoulders and into the air. It didnt really change things, but in sharing this with Kai, he felt a little closer to him. Like their love, as broken as it may be, got a little bit stronger despite the cuts and bruises. He walked into Kai's hug, holding him tightly and listening to the way their heartbeats sounded so in tune. Jace knew they had a long way to go, bu that this would be the first of many big steps to forming their relationship. "I forgive you Kai," he whispered in his ear. "I'm not angry, I love you. I love you."

    Kai buried his face into Jace's chest and hugged back. "I love you too." He murmured, closing his eyes slowly. "Just.. Don't do that to me anymore. Try not to do drugs or drink alcohol, please? Because I don't think it's just alcohol anymore, is it." It wasn't so much of a question as it was a statement. He nuzzled his head a little closer and his eyes shut even tighter. "And... I, uh... I smelled perfume on you more than the time you said that some girl was hitting on you, so... Belle um.. Belle and Lilly both, actually, they said.. Well, they said that you were probably cheating too. So um... Please don't do that anymore either? I-I won't repeat this, I swear." He was stumbling awkwardly over his words. He didn't want to tell Jace what to do, but he recognized that everything has gone too far.

    Jace nodded and then realized Kai couldn't see him and said, "I never cheated on you Kai, I swear to god, but I promise it will never happen. And really, I'm not mad about last night, I know I have to do better, to be better than I was and I want to change for you Kai." He really did mean what he said. He didn't like making Kai upset, and lately that was all he could do. He had to stop pushing everyone away, and he really needed to graduate. His grades were more than just slipping, which probably had to do with the drugs and alcohol. He was gonna straighten himself up again and be the person Kai deserved, even if it killed him.

    Kai's eyes widened a little, happily, and he cuddled closer with a smile. "Good, I'm glad we can work everything out." He still wasn't entirely convinced that it would work, mostly because he'd heard that promise before, but wanted to believe Jace so bad that he just did. Although he was a little unsure of where to go from there, he definitely wanted to sit down since he still had a throbbing headache. "Can we sit down and cuddle?"

    Jace smiled and chuckled a little as he walked with Kai over to the couch, still locked in an embrace. Jace laid down so that Kai was rested on top of him and stated to mess with Kai's hair twirling it around in his fingers and listening to their breathing. Kai was a bit smaller than Jace, making it easy enough to hold him like this. Jace still felt as if they had barriers between one another. Both of them had been hurt, and it kind of felt like sleeping with the enemy, but he knew that Kai hadn't meant for all of this to happen. And besides, Jace was just as equally to blame, if not more so, for what was happening between them.

    Kai curled up a little and grabbed tiny fistfuls of Jace's shirt. With a small sigh, he closed his eyes and concentrated on anything but the migraine. Honestly, I don't get why he'd even want to do this, it's a terrible experience...! Kai thought miserably. Migraines and guilt. Where's the appeal in that? He didn't quite understand Jace's reasoning for drinking, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't really want to speak at all, actually.

    Jace fell asleep quickly. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and the relief of holding Kai close to him again made him relaxed enough to sleep peacefully. For the first time in a long time, he slept easily without the lingering threat of night terrors. He had a very placid dream about his past. A memory of going camping with his father. It was like watching a silent movie of his own experiences and he was overcome with the nostalgia of being a kid again. Back when life was simple and his only worries were about eating all his vegetables so he could have desert, or spending the night at friends houses, and the terror of dropping his game-boy, god forbid it should break. He missed how easy going life used to be, and enjoyed his imaginary vacation to his past.

    With a little more trouble than Jace due to his throbbing headache, Kai eventually fell asleep as well. He didn't have any dreams that night- He rarely did- But he was kinda glad about that. Dreams were always strange and he usually woke up thinking he was still in the dream, which was confusing. And nightmares were- Well, nightmares scared Kai to the moon and back.

    (Ahh! I don't know what to rp now!!! XD Where should we go from here? I don't really have anything in mind other than going deeper into Jace's plans for future jobs and stuff. What are you thinking?)

    (Ok so I got an Idea today. What if we do a huge time-skip and pick up just after Kai and Jace are out of College. They could be pursuing their jobs and finding their first home, talking about marriage, or deciding if they were just never meant to be. What do you think?)