I'M BROKEN << private >> YOU CAN'T FIX IT

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XXX
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A sigh escaped him and he leaned back again, posture relaxing. Well, I can say it isn't mine then. he figured silently. Unless it looks just like me, of course. Huh. That would be unfortunate.
Distracted by his thoughts, he didn't realize that silence was stretching between them.
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XXX
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Void frowned. "Yes, I'm here. Do I have to be talking all the time?" he rejoined somewhat irritably. Then, with a sharp edge to his tone, he added, "I'll say whatever I damn well please." Yeah, he was being a bit of a jerk, now, but he was pretty stressed about the whole thing. What else was to be expected of him?
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XXX
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"Well what did you expect? I just said that I'm not cut out to be a father. I've already ruined one litter of kits' lives, and I don't want to ruin another!" the scrawny tomcat hissed. Abruptly, he stood and backed a few paces away from her so that Shyfly was out of range of his paws, claws sliding out and tail whipping from side to side. He was furious at himself, too much so to contain it and continue to direct it solely at himself - he was afraid that he might lash out at the poor girl for something that was entirely his own fault. He'd had a lot of problems managing his anger in the past, and he couldn't help but be reminded of his old self.
Am I reverting to my old ways? he wondered privately. That was a worrisome thought, but it did nothing to douse the flame of his anger.
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XXX
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He scrunched up his face, struggling to repress his anger. "Don't apologize!" he snapped, as if she'd committed some offense. Then, stiffly and quietly, he went on, "This is my fault - the blame is mine to take."
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XXX
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No, no more professions of love. It was like Arabesque all over again, except this time, they hadn't even been dating.
"I don't have to deal with it." he growled stubbornly. "I'm glad to hear that you're fine with this, but I'm certainly not. I can treat your kits just like I treat Arabesque's. They don't even know I'm their father!" As he spoke, he kneaded at the stone floor of their little cave, if it was deep enough to be one, claws grating raucously over the hard, coarse surface.
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Shall we end this thread here?
(Really proud of this little burst of muse. 8))
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The wiry honourguard's anger, despite that it had been ignited solely by his own rash actions, was causing him to become unreasonable, hence his snappish retort: "Well I'm not the one carrying it - you are. That means that it's your responsibility, not mine, so you have to deal with it - not me!" The unborn kit's existence was just as much Void's fault as it was Shyfly's, and should therefore have been just as much his responsibility as it was hers, and he knew that. However, right now he was speaking on impulse, something that he would regret deeply when yet another sleepless night fell upon him.
Without leaving enough time for Shyfly to retaliate, he got up and stormed out from beneath the rocky overhang, the torrent of frigid, corpulent raindrops quickly slicking down his thin, inky coat and soaking him to the bone. By the time he'd shouldered through some brambles and was out of the she-cat's sight, he was already shivering, having neither fur nor flesh to insulate him. Nevertheless, he trudged briskly forth, having no intentions of locating another dry place.
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