Pray for Mirabelle (Open for critique, but please don't be harsh)

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  • Description



    Chapter 1



    If you wish to read more:


    [move]http://www.wattpad.com/story/20095466-pray-for-mirabelle[/move]

  • Very good! The only thing you might want to change is this;

    Quote

    Where do I fit in? Well, I'm the 5'7 figure with very light curly brown locks and bright green eyes. Eva may be Spanish, but I took pride in my Italian and French heritage. I had absolutely no American in me, although English was my first language. I am fifty percent of each, my father being Italian and my mother being French. They had met in Paris, my mother running errands and my father on Spring Break. They married and lived happily, but that came to a halt when my father met a Chaldean beauty named Marie and left us.


    [font=times new roman]This is often called an info-dump, where you tell the readers all about your character and plot right off the bat. Instead, try spreading the info out! (;