Sorry guys, next time I'll have to write the prompt in red or something so people see it. You still have until 12 o'clock tonight!
|ωяιтιηg cσηтεsт|sιgη-υρ ησω!|ℓιмιтε∂ (0) sρσтs σρεη!|
- Kitty Pound Helper
- Closed
This is an archived version of FeralFront. While you can surf through all the content that was ever created on FeralFront, no new content can be created.
If you'd like some free FeralFront memorabilia to look back on fondly, see this thread from Dynamo (if this message is still here, we still have memorabilia): https://feralfront.com/thread/2669184-free-feralfront-memorabilia/.
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What time-zone?
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Eastern Standard Time
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Ok
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[align=center]My entry!:
[[It is separated in two parts (Me and You) c:]]Me
It had been a simple game of luck, just a little fun.
It began with a deck of cards. We sat around the table, eager to start, one of us yawned while I shivered in anticipation. A stranger shuffled the cards professionally, the slices of cardboard slipping through his fingers into a neatly set deck. There were only five of us: Mack, Renato, Ophelia, Me (Ty) and the stranger that shuffled the cards. Come to think of it, I don't recall having seeing the heavily dressed figure sitting down or appearing at all; as soon as we had scavenged the cards in the run down pub downtown and we had decided on a game of poker, the mysterious card shuffler had appeared.
Renato was mildly inspecting the napkin holder and Mack was chewing on gum looking a bit woozy (He had had an experimental shot of whiskey at the counter, as sixteen year olds we shouldn't be there at all, but as a group of daredevils we had come together to the local pub late at night, though Mack had been the only one with enough guts to drink some booze) Ophelia was rather skittish and eyed Renato longingly. She had a not-so-secret-crush on him, though Renato didn't seem to notice. She had been the only girl on the trip to the pub, and as usual she was a nervous wreck.
I toyed around with the pennies we were using as chips as the card dealer gave a couple to each of us. I picked up my hand and glanced at it. I whooped internally as I saw the two aces, my friends wore pretty good poker faces, though Ophelia's eyes seemed to be about to pop out of their sockets.
As we all raised our bets and fattened the pot, I couldn't help noticing a flash of light coming from the dealer's end, as I turned to face him, the luminous reflection had gone. Shrugging myself into a false sence of security, I watched as the stranger placed the first few cards on the table.
In the middle of the game, when the pot was ridiculously high, and everyone was looking around for what to bet (The things we were betting included a few cheese puffs, a rubber band, a friendship bracelet, a safety pin and a couple of rogue skittles, as well as the pennies) finally Mack, who had been frantic to win, pulled off his sock and placed it into the pot, no one was really shocked with his excentric behavior, even though Ophelia giggled slightly.
As we neared the end of the game I was ready to win. The dealer set the last card and I slammed my hand onto the table together with my pair of aces. Surprisingly, everyone had slapped their cards on the table, all of them identical aces. Everyone except.
Ophelia. She had slowly lowered a pair of duces onto the table.
Wait. There are four of us, which means that there were six aces in game, a card pack only contains four aces. Who had cheated? Was this some kind of joke? Just then the dealer slammed the rest of the deck onto the table, spreading them out into a neat arc. They were all aces. He then inched his hand forward towards Ophelia's cards.
Wait, he inched a paw towards her cards.You
As soon as I saw it, I knew that there was something abnormal going on. I watched the dealer's hand inch towards the pot. As if in slow motion, the hand's fingers became shorter and plumper, forming a round-like hand-paw, fur sprouted from it's flesh, the color of early morning fog combined with flecks of dark-ish smoggy grey. The transformation inched up his arm, changin him. This took a few minutes, by the time the four of us were transfixed in horror. Mack had stopped chewing and had his mouth half-open with his gum stretched out mid-chew between his top and bottom teeth. Renato gazed straight-faced at the morphing of our dealer, though his handsome hazel eyes were full of incredulity. Ty had begun to stand up, with a mask of awe and shock displayed upon his features.
The changing had ended. Before them sat a large cat. It gazed at them steadily with it's steely grey gaze. It was large, at least the size of a great dane, it had massive paws and spiky, rather dirty fur.
It spoke.
"Greetings" it said in a low rumble of a voice, we all stared at it, transfixed. "I believe you have already worked out something about this situation" he said narrowing his gaze and looking at them all in turn. I spoke before I could stop myself, but the words tumbled out "This is no ordinary game of cards, is it?" the massive feline purred "Indeed" he said pausing for a moment "I see we find ourselves in an interesting situation here" as he said this, the pub around us vanished, the table, the bets and the cards remained in place, as well as ourselves. Around us, thick, musky grey fog gushed from the corners of our vision, though not making contact with the area where we were seated, creating a kind of air pocket.
"What's happening?" asked Mack nervously glancing all around them. No one answered. The grey feline spoke again "The cards you all were given have great significance" he stopped for a moment, and before anyone could formulate a question he continued "In the deck of cards I have used, as you have well noticed, there are purely aces, except" he motioned a paw at me "The two duces she pulled out". "Who are you?" said Renato, rather aggressively, he inched ever so slightly towards me. A warm feeling spread through my body, Renato realy cared about me? The grey cat did not move but answered "I am the spirit of this city, I am called Fog." Mack muttered something about having drunk too much whiskey as Fog continued "For this city to flourish and carry on, every ten years, I make four teenagers unconsciously get together and play my game of cards, since youthful people provide beter resistance for the city's essence. The one who is given the twin duces is given a choice" he said staring directly at me now "You can either willingly give up your essence to the city, for it to live on, or deny this, and all four of you will melt into the city's essence. Energy of the essence of one given willingly is more powerful than that taken by force. It is your choice, dear" He finished, by the end his voice turning into a kinder tone.
We all sat in stunned silence, no one daring to look at me. I had not understood fully, yet I knew one thing for sure. Or I sacrificed myself, or we all were done for. Then Mack raised his voice "You mean she will die?" Fog shook his large head "No, merely disipate into the city, giving it strength to live on for the next ten coming years. If the city's essence is not fueled, catastrophes will break out, sickness, disasters. I cannot afford this city to crumble." I pondered this. This was something the people of the city needed, if I were to 'disipate into the city', no other people would die. But I wasn't technically going to die, really, it was small comfort. "We will all sacrifice ourselves" said Ty standing up, Mack followed, and Renato straightened up, all of them with determined faces. I couldn't believe this. They were standing up for me? Fog merely sighed "It is her choice, you cannot change it. Even if you will willingly give up your essences, she is the one who will decides" I slowly put myself together and stood up "I will give my essence" The words were thrust out of my mouth. Fog nodded solemnly, the guys were about to protest but I raised my voice "No! This is what our city needs, I would never let you guys 'disipate' for me. I have to do this" My final words rang through our air pocket. There was no point in protesting.
Fog nodded "A true act of valor. Ophelia, just walk outside" the words warmed me up a bit, I almost unconsciously directed my steps to the fog outside. As my foot fell through the thick smog outside our air pocket, I felt lightheaded as I walked on, and before I knew it a soft feeling of sleepiness enveloped me.
I was gone.Epilogue
Still a day doesn't pass that I don't remember Ophelia. After the supernatural experience at the pub, we all were transported to the street. Everything was normal.
Aparently, Ophelia had never existed, her parents acted as so. Mack had vowed to never drink again and remain sober. Renato hasn't had a girlfriend since.
Every car that passes, every time I walk to college, I see Ophelia's blessing upon this city. Every stray cat slipping through the metropolis' long shadows is painful memory, I see Fog and Ophelia down every corner.
They haunt me, but it also reminds me, that thanks to her sacrifice, the city is what it is.
I hope it's good enough, I had a rush of inspiration in the middle of the night and I had hurried to scribble the ending in my notebook. I woke at seven a.m here, just in case our timezones were a bit too different (I still don't undersand all that timezone stuff).
So yeah I hope you enjoy. I find it very inspiring! c: -
OH.MY.G0SH?@??@?@?@?"@mklCHEFYVYH I JUST FINISHED MY ENTRY AND THE PAGE FROZE AND I LOST IT! IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!! ;0;
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Awww! I'm so sorry! Do you think you can get it done by tonight?
@Matchbox- Okay. I'll read it as soon as I can! :)
We're waiting on the following:
You Are Beautiful
XxXCalmBeforeTheStormXxX
= F E R A L (I know why)
Wadanohara (I know why)
Jtg56108
litebryte- -
I don't know.i kinda just lost my muse...
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I got two beefy paragraphs done and I need a coffee break.
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These stories are so good
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They're coming out great! :) Keep up the writing!
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[Fancyimage]http://www.blirk.net/wallpaper…x900/star-wallpaper-1.jpg[/fancyimage]
Night of a Thousand Stars
[fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ic~
[/fancypost][align=center][fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ooc~ I'm sorry its quite strange and all, I had to rush to get it in.[/fancypost]
[align=right][size=2pt]By XxCalmBeforeStormxX[/size]
[/fancypost]
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Okay. Here are the results guys! I am also going to make a rule of a minimum word count of 1000 and a maximum word count of 3000. I can't read any more than that as I will no longer have the time.
I am sorry to say that the following have been eliminated for their lack of submissions:
= F E R A L
Wadanohara
Jtg56108
litebryte-
You are BeautifulCongrats to everyone else! You have all made it to the next round because of so many people being dropped. Please find your name below and click the spoiler. :)
Zabtastic
I have a few corrections for you. As you know, I am grading grammar as well as plot. Here are a few points that I think could be improved:
* Your dialogue needs to be in separate paragraphs when another person is talking. In other words, you may not have two people talking with dialogue in the same paragraph.
* Please put your entry in a spoiler next time and refrain from using a fancy when submitting an entry.
* Proof read please! You, as well as others, were missing words and had misspelled words.
* If you do not know what a comma splice is, it's using a comma where a period or a semicolon should go. You cannot separate two independent clauses with a comma.
* Missing punctuation in your dialogue most of the time.
* Also, watch for switching tenses!Cherry Sundae
You did great! I didn't find any errors in your story and it was very entertaining. The only thing I ask is that you keep your entries Pg-13. That is all! :)
シード00
I loved you plot line, as that is the genre of writing that I like to read, so I enjoyed your entry also. I have a few corrections for you, though. I am also grading grammar, so please be sure to fix them in your next entry.
* Your dialogue needs to be in separate paragraphs when another person is talking. In other words, you may not have two people talking with dialogue in the same paragraph.
* Please proof read and edit before you submit your work.
* Use spell-check. It is your friend.
* I found your story to be a little confusing at times, so make sure you develop the plot fully.
* When skipping a period of time, you shouldn't indent the first paragraph of that section. You can also use a divider like three stars (i.e. * * * )
* Keep up the good work!Matchbox
I loved your story, as well! It was a great plot and well-developed. I only have a few minor corrections for you.
* I found one or two comma splices. A comma splice is when you separate two independent clauses with a comma instead of a period or a semicolon.
* Use a colon when introducing a list.
* A few spelling errors, but nothing spell-check can't fix! :)
* Major: Please, please, please follow the genre assigned! I really do enjoy a fantasy story, but this was realistic fiction!
* Dialogue must be separated with different paragraphs if it is more than one person or thing speaking.
* This is just a comment: I almost got a Mortal Instruments demon vibe mixed with a Now you See Me vibe. It was pretty cool. :) I really liked this story though. Have you ever heard of Wattpad? I think that you should make an account and publish it.XxCalmeBeforeStormxX
I didn't really find your story weird, but here is a list of corrections for next time.
* Please use spell check! It's your friend. I didn't find that many errors, but still.
* Proof read!
* I would like to say thank you for separating your dialogue for different characters by paragraphs.
* Where are they living?
* Please don't write 'the end' at the end and put a few more spaces before you start the 'Ten Years later' part of the story.
* Good otherwise! I love animals! :) -
Promt:
Fantasy
Key elements:
* Must have some type of special object!
* Have books and a lot of them! Somewhere....*Note* No fanfic!
Happy writing! You have two days starting now!
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[Fancyimage]http://www.blirk.net/wallpaper…x900/star-wallpaper-1.jpg[/fancyimage]
Night of a Thousand Stars
[fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ic~
[/fancypost][align=center][fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ooc~ Ok!
Sorry about the spacing and all, I was rushed because I had to go to swim practice (200 laps UGH)[/fancypost]
[align=right][size=2pt]By XxCalmBeforeStormxX[/size]
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It's okay. Just wanted to put it out there. :)
And 200? Or 20? 200 seems like a lot.
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[fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=;background:url(http://images2.layoutsparks.co…tter-angel.gif);fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=; border-radius: 20px;border: Dashed 10px #642EFE;]
[Fancyimage]http://www.blirk.net/wallpaper…x900/star-wallpaper-1.jpg[/fancyimage]
Night of a Thousand Stars
[fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ic~
[/fancypost][align=center][fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ooc~ Nope, 200. I swim competitively.
(One lap is only 25 yards, so 25 X 200= 5,000, and I do 1,000 for warm up everyday, plus it was all crawl, so I finished)[/fancypost]
[align=right][size=2pt]By XxCalmBeforeStormxX[/size]
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Nice! My sister's boyfriend swims competitively I think, but she never talks about it. Oh well. I'm so excited for these entries now!

Here's how the schedule is going to work.
This round, two people will be cut.
Third round, one person will be cut.
Fourth round, one person will be cut and we will have our winner! :)
Hopefully, we'll get all of the entries in this time though.
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[fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=;background:url(http://images2.layoutsparks.co…tter-angel.gif);fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=; border-radius: 20px;border: Dashed 10px #642EFE;]
[Fancyimage]http://www.blirk.net/wallpaper…x900/star-wallpaper-1.jpg[/fancyimage]
Night of a Thousand Stars
[fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ic~
[/fancypost][align=center][fancypost bgcolor= black; border: 12px Teal dashed; border-radius: 12px; overflow: auto; width: 450px; height: 200px; opacity: 0.80;]
Ooc~ Yeah, I'm in another contest and only 4 people have submitted their forms, and I left a week for vacation, came back and NOBODY else had submitted a form.[/fancypost]
[align=right][size=2pt]By XxCalmBeforeStormxX[/size]
[/fancypost]
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Oh my god how did I actually make it with that horrible story XDThanks for the tips i'll try my best!
You know English is a hard language T.T