this little bluebird [private] came looking again

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    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]"i should have guessed," crowtalon chuckled, totally unaware of mosaicstar's urge to call him out for lying. nerd. [color=#E2F45D]"well, do you have any idea of what to do now?" he questioned. he didn't want to let their conversation get awkward, even though their past talks seldom did. also, seaglass needed muse.


    [justify]
    //i handed over the muse earlier. it was in the briefcase. did you not open the briefcase?


    She chuckled, then seemed lost in thought for a moment. It was a shame that she was using the question as a cover while she thought again how much she wished she could talk to him about her problem right now. But she couldn't this time, no matter how much she wanted to. Crow would never forgive her if he found out how much she hated his friend, how much she just wanted her gone. And he would think she was weird if she admitted she was jealous of the time Pastel was spending with him. But it didn't feel fair. She was supposed to hang out with Crow all the time, not Pastel. He was meant to compliment her, not Pastel! She should be the one that smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back, not her! But none of that mattered because she was just ordinary old Maisie and Pastel was a pink cheetah that was sweet and kind and talented and made her want to tear her fur out. She hated her. She despised her with a passion. Everything she was wanted to kick the femme out of the Clan right now, but Crow would never forgive her for that so it wasn't even an option. Ugh!


    "We could run for a while?" She was happy to run in the territory or in the loner lands. Either way, she wanted to just clear her mind and stop thinking about Pastel. After all, no-one wanted to be constantly thinking about garbage. Ugh, she hated the femme more than swallowing maggots.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]ooc. omg maisie calm down xD


    ic. it was a good thing that crowtalon had no idea about mosaicsun and pastelpaw's rivalry, because he would have smacked some sense into both of them. he had learned to control his jealousy of sherlockholmes--mostly--so why couldn't they? it was stupid to ruin a possible friendship over someone like him, anyways. they were both so amazing; why were they spending their time fighting over someone so much lesser than them?


    "sure," he agreed, rising back to his ebony paws. [color=#E2F45D]"where to?"


    [justify]
    She didn't even know what the problem was. She didn't understand why she was so worked up about it just because she was Crow's friend. Why didn't she want him to be friends with her? She didn't understand it and so that made it even worse than it already was. But she wanted to be his favourite. She didn't want to have competition. She just wanted to be the one he cared about most and she didn't want stupid Pastel to be liked more than her. She'd known him for longer, wasn't in an enemy Clan, and she care about him more - she shouldn't even have any competition! It wasn't fair. She wanted to hit Pastel. She really, really wanted to. Why couldn't she kick her in the head and tell her to get out?


    With a little shrug and faint smile, she mewed, "You choose." And maybe she was referencing her own private thoughts by saying that. Not only 'you choose' where they run to, but 'you choose' between her and Pastel. 'You choose' which one you like better. 'You choose' who's your favourite. 'You choose' the right one because one of them was going to be hurt and she didn't want it to be her this time. Just once, she didn't want it to be her.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8][color=#E2F45D]"loner lands," crowtalon meowed automatically with a light smile on his ebony face. like mosaicsun, he had come to love the moors and hills that were uninhabited by any clan. it was nice to spend time with her alone. part of him wanted to show pastelpaw the loner lands because he just knew she would love it, but another part of him objected and said that the loner lands were for him and mosaicsun alone. well, maybe they could find a different spot entirely. pastelpaw could visit him sometimes, and they could just talk there. that would be nice.


    without warning, the melanistic jaguar began to run in the direction of the loner lands.


    [justify]
    She didn't want Pastel to share the loner lands with them. It was their place. Maisie refused to let the femme go there with them. That would be like losing her freedom to the cat she hated most in the world. She didn't want that. Oh StarClan, why couldn't Crow see that she didn't want Pastel to share with him what she did? It wasn't fair! Everything was going right, and then some fucking pink idiot waltzed in and started ruining everything for her. If Pastel started going to the loner lands with Crow, that would be the last straw. That was where she drew the line, because the loner lands were more than just a nice place to her. They were sacred. They held the key to her freedom and her happiness. She couldn't lose all that, not to Pastel. Not when she already felt like she was losing Crow to her.


    Jolted out of her thought, she quickly turned and sprinted after him. She was glad that she was behind right now, so he couldn't see her smile disappear or the way she bit her lip hard to keep herself from shedding angry tears. She felt herself draw blood. It hurt, but she didn't stop. He'd notice if her cheeks were damp. She just had to bite harder.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; border-color: white; height: 150px; width: 400px; background: url(http://media.giphy.com/media/dalygHV7hsgfe/giphy.gif);][/fancypost]


    [fancypost borderwidth=0pt; width: 400px; color: white; overflow: auto; width: 400px; height: 150px;
    ][justify]//traCKING INTENSIFIES
    Pastel: I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT 'BOUT MY GANG
    jk c:





    [size=7pt]Pastel Ciellera Casanova ♥ The Insignia ♥ Female ♥ 10 moons ♥ Mentor: Andromeda ♥ Multiple possessions ♥ Ability to change pelt ♥ Character bond with Cynthia ♥ The Sight ♥ Telepathy ♥ Ability to take away another's pain ♥ Absorb spirits 4/9 ♥ #pastelinsignia14


    [align=center][size=4pt]copyright thyme

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][color=black][size=8]soon, the pair had reached the border where blizzardclan ended and the loner lands began. unlike a couple of times before, crowtalon did not hesitate to dash across the border; he was much too used to going out into the open hills to be afraid anymore. he was also too used to hearing the soft but quick pawsteps of mosaicstar over his own loud thuds to look over his shoulder and make sure she was there. she could handle herself.


    and so he continued to run, having no idea of mosaicstar's and pastelpaw's newborn rivalry.


    [justify]
    //timeskip next post?


    She kept running, closing her eyes and trusting her knowledge of the place to know that nothing was in front. She was confident enough with running that she wasn't worried about tripping. It was funny. When she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend everything was okay. She could feel freedom coursing through her veins, that need to run and run and never look back. And when she pricked her ears and focused, she could just hear her pawsteps and Crow's. Like it was just the two of them and nothing else. Just them and no troubles or worries or Pastel anywhere to be seen, not here or back home. It was nice.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]ooc. i guess?? unless you want the thing to be revealed in the crow/maisie/pastel thread owo


    [color=#E2F45D]ic. crowtalon abandoned his thought of showing pastelpaw the loner lands. this place was for him and mosaicstar only. it was rather ironic, since the loner lands were inhabited by plenty of wanderers, but still. he cared for the physician assistant, and yet he couldn't bear to allow her in. the loner lands were special, for him and mosaicstar. pastelpaw and he could find their own special place, maybe.


    [justify]
    //aaah you decide


    If she'd known what he was thinking then, she would've been more relieved than ever before. Pastel had a home she could go back to if she felt miserable around here, though not any more while Maisie didn't. She felt trapped in her home, like she was being driven out of the territory by someone that didn't even belong there. The loner lands was the last place she had left after Pastel had started going in the trees too.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]ooc. the other thread because there needs to be a cute crow/maisie moment where she falls in love with him before crow gets mad at her and pastel xD


    [color=#E2F45D]ic. crowtalon kept his breathing monitored as he ran. if he didn't, he always ended up being out of breath when he stopped. perhaps eventually, the tom would be able to keep his breathing under control without deliberately paying attention to it; then he could focus on the scenery, or on mosaicstar. by habit, he felt a sudden urge to turn around to check up on the femme, but he forced himself not to. she could take care of herself.


    [justify]
    It was when she brought herself back to reality that she realised she'd still been biting her lip. Shit, it hurt bad now. Subconsciously, she slowed down a little, wincing as she tasted the blood in her mouth. And what happened when you lost concentration? You went tumbling. She felt herself trip and the rest seemed to happen in slow motion as she went head-over-heels before rolling to a stop. Pulling herself awkwardly onto her side, she tried to pick herself up quickly so he didn't notice. If he noticed, then he'd see the blood and he'd realise her lack of concentration. But as she pushed herself to her paws, one buckled beneath her and she just fell back down. Damn shitting shit damns. Wow, that was a new one. Anyway, it seemed she'd twisted her paw and it hurt like heck along with her lip. Stupid Maisie. Stupid.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]unfortunately for mosaicstar, crowtalon heard her as she tumbled. immediately, he turned to her, his pale yellow optics wide as she gazed at the stumbling femme. ugh, he knew it! he should have checked on her. everything he did was always wrong and he hated it. without a word, the jaguar snatched a leaf from a nearby bush and handed it to the leader. [color=#E2F45D]"hold it to your lip," he ordered, then proceeded to trot over to her and lightly dust her off.


    [justify]
    Silently, she took the leaf and held it to her lip. Groaning a little, she shifted, getting her tail out from beneath her. Her stupid, ugly tail that still hurt when something hit it. There were even a couple of bandages still stuck to it. When she looked at that and then thought about pretty-in-pink Pastel, it was no surprise that everyone liked her more. Flopping onto her back without another thought, she closed her eyes. It seemed her lack of concentration hadn't been discontinued, for she forgot where she was entirely. Damn, had she hit her head in that fall?


    Over the pain, all she could think about was Pastel. The moment where she'd smiled at Crow and he'd smiled back just kept playing in her mind, and her eyes squeezed shut a little harder, not wanting those angry little teardrops to fall. And then, like usual, her mind went back to the time when she'd seen her reflection and Crow had told her that she was beautiful. And like always, she cursed Pastel again because that day made it hurt even more. The way he treated Pastel just... it made her wonder. She asked herself if it was just her. Would he do the same for Pastel? That was why it hurt so much. To think that when he'd told her she was beautiful, wonderful, perfect... that they'd been bigger lies than she'd ever imagined. And not for her benefit either. To think that it wasn't just her. To think that he didn't really care for her like that. It made her head hurt, and she muttered under her breath, "I'm so stupid." Why had she fallen for it? She wasn't special. Not at all. She never had been, and yet she'd allowed herself to think that she really was for a while because of him. She was just as ordinary as she'd always thought. She'd been stupid to ever believe otherwise.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: FONT FACE; font-style: FONT STYLE; font-size: FONT SIZEpx; margin-bottom: -8px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-align: center;]YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WALKING AROUND WITH A LOADED GUN.[/fancypost]


    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=transparent; borderwidth=px; background:url(http://i.imgur.com/qellq2Q.jpg); width: 369px; height: 160px; border-radius: 0pt 0pt 0pt 8pt; overflow: auto; width: 369px; height: 160px;][align=left][color=white][font=times new roman][size=9pt]//this is actually making me feel REALLY guilty ;w;







    [align=center][size=7pt][color=white]Bruisedbouquet ♥ Blizzardclan ♥ Female ♥ 10 moons ♥ Multiple possessions ♥ Ability to change pelt ♥ The Sight ♥ Character bond with no one ♥ Telepathy ♥ Ability to take away another's pain ♥ Absorb spirits 4/9 ♥ #bruisedbouquetblizzard

    [/size]


    [/fancypost][size=5pt](C)LeMew

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][size=8]crowtalon flinched a little when the femme flopped onto her back, but he kept dusting--until she spoke, that is. at her words, the tom froze, and his already-worried expression became even more concerned. this time, he didn't even try to convince himself that mosaicstar was fine or that she could handle herself. she needed him. needed his background character-esque comic relief. he wasn't going to attempt a joke, though. [color=#E2F45D]"no, you're not," the tom countered firmly.


    [justify]
    Her eyes flickered open, seeming to remember where she was, and she just watched him for a moment with a sad gaze. And then she frowned. Her voice colder than he had known it for a long while when she spoke, and her words were no warmer. "Stop lying to me - it's not like you ever believed any of it anyway." Her gaze turned hard and she glared defiantly at him for a moment before laying her head back with a sad sigh. He'd never meant anything he ever said to her. She wasn't beautiful or special. She wasn't smart or kind. She wasn't wonderful and she was far from perfect.


    There it was again. That sensation from when she'd had her breakdown, where she'd thought she was just a mistake. That longing to be comforted and held even though she acted like she wanted to be left alone. Last time, he'd held her. This time she was going to have to suck it up and just be alone. She was going to have to get used to loneliness anyway with Bruisedbouquet sticking around. Not like Crow would care. He had a new friend to worry about. It wasn't enough that she was taking her home and friends, no. She had to take Crow too. Crow wasn't just a friend, he was different. She could always rely on him, could trust him with her life. Or... she'd thought she could. She'd made another mistake. Just another accident in her life. Just like her.
    [/justify]

    [fancypost borderwidth=0px;][justify][color=black][size=8]while seaglass sobbed because noooooo craisie must be canon stop being dumb maisie, crowtalon flinched at her words. she thought he was lying? how could she think that? he had told her time and time again how perfect she was and how much he cared about her, and yet she still didn't believe him? he wasn't angry about it, though--just hurt. hurt that she didn't think he was her friend.


    the jaguar sucked in a sharp breath, not knowing what to say. what could he say? his closest friend had basically just told him that he was a liar and that he wasn't her friend anymore. how was he supposed to react to that? with a witty comeback or insult? he couldn't insult mosaicstar. he cared for her too much. even if he had made up something good and dared to try and speak it, he doubted his voice would have worked at all.


    averting his pale yellow gaze from the silver tabby, the tom blinked back tears. apparently, he was unwanted.


    [justify]
    Her lip was bleeding again. She hadn't even realised she'd been biting it again, but at least it kept back the tears. It hurt, but it wasn't the worst pain she was in right now. She felt like she was dying, and closed her eyes in an attempt to keep those tears back still. Loneliness was her destiny. But... her heart wanted something more. She didn't want this and yet she was doomed to endure it. It hurt. A lot. She felt fragile again, like if she was dropped, she'd shatter. A porcelain doll. All over again.


    She rolled over onto her side, subconsciously covering her face as tears began to break through, rolling down her cheeks. They would blur her vision if her eyes weren't closed. She didn't want to hurt him. Maybe he didn't want to hurt her either. Maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe he had meant it. But it was so hard to believe that she was the only one now. That he really cared for her. But she wanted him to. She wanted it more than to see the stars every night. She would trade away every dream she'd ever had to feel loved by him again. To feel special to him. To feel wanted by him. If only she could just say goodbye, let it go. But her heart wanted him still. And she knew that her heart didn't work in harmony with her mind, that it never would.


    She felt a sob rack her body and she cursed it, but her gaze managed to find him again. StarClan, what did she say? How could she right this when she was in too much pain to do anything at all? Voice barely loud enough, she told him softly, "I trusted you more than I trusted myself." She didn't know any more. She wanted to be held, to be told that she had it all wrong, but she wasn't sure she'd be that lucky this time. She didn't know that she was wrong this time. She hoped she was. She wished she was.
    [/justify]