kick at the darkness [p] 'til it bleeds daylight

The dark gray student was sitting outside the museum entrance. The position she was in might have made her look like a guard, but the seven moon old would have scoffed at the thought. Flintpaw knew that she had a lot to learn before she became a Radical, much less a high position. She hardly knew any moves, for instance; whether they be dancing or fighting. Why, she'd been beaten badly by Xialongpaw at battle practice, and the mackerel tabby was younger than her. Not by much, because the tabby was a fellow student, but a half moon or so age gap made all the difference in Flintpaw's eyes. A lot of experience and respect had to be gained. And being seven moons old gave her plenty of time to do so.

Which was more than she could have said as a kit. Kithood had its perks, being full of innocence and lacking real responsibility. But responsibility was a part of life that made it interesting. Not that Flintpaw would always rather do work than lounge around, but if the work had a good reason to it, then the student would gladly join in. Flintpaw wasn't the best with words but had constant numerous thoughts swirling in her head to make up for it. Small talk wasn't her thing but if the conversation had a purpose, it was easy for Flintpaw to enjoy.

Which led her back to that conversation she had with a young flame point. Which had not appeared so thought-provoking in her own mind, but her words seemed to set the gears turning in Andromeda's mind.

A smart kit, as Flintpaw had so far gathered. Not overly so, because again, she was still in kithood. Full of innocence and freedom from responsibility. But Andromeda didn't seem to think so; being scarred by Eaglekit's teasing and having a responsibility to stand up for herself. At first, the flame point hadn't been succeeding in the latter, shrieking that her name was not Andrew. But then she whipped out her claws. Man, she beat Eaglekit up. The black tom-kit probably didn't learn his lesson, but it didn't matter. He'd just keep on fighting without a care. But at least Andromeda had tried. And she hadn't done too badly either. Flintpaw made a goal that day; to make sure to learn everything she could before Andromeda became a student, or else she'd be outdone by a cat six moons younger. And that wouldn't help earn the dark gray feline much respect.

[Right]ooc: gotcha. procrastination is a murderer of muse.[/align]

On perfectionism terms, Flintpaw was an unbeliever. The idea that one could reach perfection was outlandish to her. She didn't mind others striving hard to reach perfection... but as for herself, the most that Flintpaw ever settled for was almost-perfect. Many details caught her attention, but she felt no impulse to 'fix' each and every one. She could work on one battle move endless times and know that she'd never always get it exactly right in every situation. Because that was her definition of perfect. Never being able to improve from the point you have reached, in any way, ever.

And that was a destination Flintpaw didn't care to reach. What was the saying? Enjoy the journey more than worrying about reaching the destination. Frankly, Flintpaw could improve all she wanted, and maybe she'd reach a really great top-of-the-mountain, but that didn't mean perfection. Perfection was too high up, or at least that was how Flintpaw saw it. Maybe she liked improving and improving and improving, and maybe she'd get better, but wouldn't stop at one point. She'd just keep hiking upwards. She saw no reason to accomplish 'perfection'.

She did work on fixing her flaws, but not on destroying them altogether. What was the point in that? Perfection was a goal that Flintpaw was neither able or wanting to reach. The faults were a part of who she was, and always would be. They defined her; set her limits and allowed her peace. If she diminished her imperfections to the point that they were not seen by anyone else, that was great; but they would always be visible to her. And she didn't mind that.

No, it wasn't bad to have a vision of perfection. It wasn't a waste of time, just something the dark gray student wasn't interested in. Flintpaw tried to hold an open mind towards these sorts of things. It engaged her to notice and learn about all the little things in life. Maybe the theorem that nobody could be perfect was a lie, or maybe it was the truth. Flintpaw just personally didn't beat herself up over it. Therefore, without any motivation, the student probably wouldn't reach it herself. Those who did have motivation for it had a much better chance of reaching it. The dark gray feline had no knowledge of the underlying obsession running through Andromeda's veins, but had she, then she would have admitted that the flame point had a good chance at it. Perfection, that was.

Mellow blue eyes wandered around. Sometimes it was easy to see both faults and flaws in the world. Other times more positive thoughts and admirations burst through. It all depended on your state of mind.

At the moment, surrounded by the calm night, feeling calm, Flintpaw noticed the twinkle of the stars and the depth of the sky. One glance would get you the image of a black surface and white dots. If you took a closer look, all sorts of colours flowed through the solid black blockade. Blue swirled around the most. Purple tinted some areas. Pink dotted a couple of star clusters. And the stars themselves, of course, some being larger than others. All scattered around randomly, without any pattern whatsoever. A daunting aura of 'impossible' labeled the task of finding one. Trust me, Flintpaw had tried. Tried to find a method to their madness.

The student didn't think it to be madness, though. A kind of beautiful thing, to not follow any rules or regulations. Had Flintpaw been a star, she wouldn't have bothered to follow any either. Better to move around aimlessly, sometimes following others but sometimes leading your own path. It was all part of a system anyway. Some things were missing, nothing was perfect, and it was hard to understand everything. Flintpaw had no belief in a supreme being, but that was her 'religion'. For the moment, at least.

Hearing a sound of soft paws hitting concrete steps, the student swiveled her dark gray head slightly to find a flame-pelted kit. Flintpaw hadn't expected to see Andromeda tonight, but she hadn't anybody else in mind. The flame point was as good a candidate as any, maybe better than some, in a way. The medics would scold the apprentice if she stayed out too long on a winter night, and Flintpaw knew her own short fur might not last much longer. But she was in no rush, and it was good to have company, she supposed. Keeping her head turned halfway towards the kit, Flintpaw kept her eyes on the masterpiece hanging above them as she murmured a reply. "Hello, Andromeda," The student rose from her stiff sitting position, tensing and loosening her spine briefly, and then she lowered onto her haunches again.

The dark gray feline had no problems involving relationships at the current moment. Her littermates split up and joined seperate clans, each with different goals in life. For all she knew the rest of her family were still back in her birth'clan', far up north where the snow fell year-round. The thing about long-distance relations with felines, no communication, but also no arguments or issues. Maybe they would see eachother someday but for now they had their own lives. She did hold concern for their wellbeing but it didn't affect her life in any way if they were faring well or not. It was something to be glad of. You weren't compared with your family or expected to be close. Flintpaw would feel a little uneasy as a deputy's daughter. Sure, it gave you a name, valuable relations, but what use were long-deceased relatives? Too much pressure to live up to expectations. There was more to it than that, but Flintpaw's roleplayer really needed to use a full stop for the last time.

[Right]ooc:
__done with the post__
[X i do that sometimes. my brother almost freaked out once when he opened the internet browser. all the open tabs i forgot about leaped up. he thought he triggered a virus or something[/align]