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I'm so proud of myself- I actually finished a whole picture! Colored and inked and everything so everyone can see it in its full horrorohmygodswhatwasithinking?!?! I'm banging my head on the table at Kyle's hair... glory!
It's in my image gallery.
IC
"With my life." I said without hesitation. A humorless smile played on my lips. "I'm not sure you should trusts yours to me, though."
I had failed him so many times. This trip to the untainted land wasn't just to help Jordan- it was to redeem myself. I had let him get hurt, and then made him hurt himself to save me. That kind of guilt stayed with you- and it stuck to me like white on rice. I grabbed his had and looked at him in the eye as I mounted Cagin.
Never again. I swore silently. I'll kill myself before something else happens to him.
If the king was to protect his people, then he himself must be protected. I had done a rotten job- Jordan was not going to get hurt again. I'd make sure of that. And like I said before- down to my last bullet and arrow.
Down to my last breath.
Silence, My Child (PRIVATE)
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OOC: They're great.
I love them! Especially the one where Kyle almost died at school. :)
I could see the look in her eyes and I knew she was telling me the truth, but something else was playing in her mind that made me feel wary and sick inside. We were thinking the same thing, and I didn't like that.
But her comment had made me smile, and even if we both died doing this, then at least now I could be myself around her. There was no reason to stay locked up inside of myself while we were most likely going to our deaths.
I lifted her hand and kissed it lightly, looking straight at her. "Then you aren't allowed to die on me," I whispered, then looked away and kicked Cagin with my heels. He snorted and started forward.
I had done it on purpose, and that was the point. If she died, then so would I. It would not be the same if I lived on without her. I risked my life to save her... and maybe it was because of some other reason at that time, but now it was because of the feelings she gave me. And I wanted her to know it. I wasn't the same person I was when we had first met, and I didn't need to hide myself any longer.
OOC:
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IC
It was the first time a boy had kissed me and gotten away uninjured.
I forced the redness for my cheeks away and focused on holding into Jordan's waist tightly. Cagin had gone this fast before, and I knew by now it would do me no good to let my arms be noodles.
I wasn't allowed to die on Jordan, after all.
My heart hammered wildly, though from the ride or my cocktail if emotions I wasn't sure. Fear, Adrenaline, excitement, worry- and the flutter of chochos in my stomach when Jordan kissed my hand. Jordan was different, much more different than any boy I had met before. He wasn't full of himself, he wasn't weak. He didn't look at me oddly, nor did he treat me like I was his possession. Jordan would be good ruler that was for sure.
Not if he survived. No, if I wasn't allowed to die on Jordan, he wasn't allowed to die on me.
I promised myself I'd be by his side, however long I might be here. Roko stood by me- I'd stand by Jordan. I smiled at the thought of him on his throne, looking bored as he listened to his advisors and filled out paperwork.
Yes, Jordan would definitely need me, if only to add some excitement to his life. -
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OOC:
Cagin had dove into a full out sprint and was now faster than I had thought possible, but I wasn't really focused on that. Kylee's grip on my waist tightened and I almost laughed as I remembered the first time I had put her on Cagin; she had been in front of me that time.
Cagin whipped around to the left and I pulled back on the reins, pulling him back from his gallop and into a trot, then slowing to a walk. I looked up, checking the sky for any sign of Eris. Nothing. She had been gone for a while now, but she was a Demon like Cagin and wouldn't do anything too stupid.
"Jordan?" Cagin's voice snapped me out of my daze and I looked down at him.
"What is it, Cagin?" I asked, frowning and looking around. If any of the villagers had followed, I would have gotten off right there and then and ordered them to get back to the village. Then I realized we were pretty far.
"It's almost nightfall. Where would you like to rest?" he asked, making me sigh in relief. I truthfully didn't care, as long as it was someplace where soldiers were not allowed.
"You know these villages better than I do," I said. "You pick a place with a decent enough inn and no soldiers." He nodded and started again, but I barely noticed it. I was dozing off in the saddle, still a little weak from the occurrences of today.
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IC
I felt Jordan going limp as Cagin ride on. I switched my grip from Jordan's waist to Cagin's reins to hold Jordan up. I smiled at his sleeping face- he looked peaceful like this. I leaned on too of him a little so that his body would shift forward, not to the side, and then I got a better grip around so I could hold Jordan in place. To be honest, laying on top of Jordan, it seemed almost quiet. I heard his heartbeat, not as strong as if from his chest, but my ear pressed up against him I could hear the steady ba-bump. He was warm, too. It may have been off of me to think so, but he was. I struggled to stay awake as Cagin rode on. I told myself to thank the Demon soon- it couldn't have been easy, riding us around everywhere. -
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[size=48pt]Wolves and Humans...[/size]
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OOC:
Cagin didn't have to look back at us to know we were falling asleep. Instead, as soon as he got to the village, he transformed into his wolf form and gently put us onto the ground, picking Kylee up gently and then grabbing my arm so that I leaned against him.
"You two can be a lot of trouble, sometimes," he said, though I could hear the humor in his voice. I couldn't help but smile through whatever daze I was in and then just let him drag me, while holding Kylee, towards the nearest inn.
After a few minutes of talking, I couldn't even hear the clerk anymore. I could feel everything, but I barely knew what was happening. Before I knew it, I was on a bed with someone next to me, one of their hands on my chest.
I guessed it was Kylee, but I wasn't about to wake up and check.
Cagin smiled and shook his head, looking down at Roko and shrugging. "I guess we'll be awake for a while, huh?" he asked, shifting into his wolf form and laying down next to the bed. [i]"They're exhausted and I don't blame them. I would be too, if everything that had happened today had happened to me."
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I actually sleep on my side :P fun fact about me.
IC
I had one arm curled up over Jordan's head, the other on his chest, and my face was laying on the pillow, looking at him. I was on my side- I always slept that way. It was more comfortable. Jordan was sleeping peacefully by me, and I felt myself going to sleep. Whatever his reaction would be in the morning, I'd deal with it then. Right now, I just wanted to rest.Roko barked in agreement. He was tired after all that running, but whether he knew it or not, there was some demon blood in him. Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to keep up with Cagin. He sat down and curled up, awake but in a relaxed position.
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OOC: Lol. I sleep either on my back or on my sides. :) It depends on my mood.
I was unusually warm, but it wasn't unpleasant. I was actually quite grateful for the extra heat. It was a welcoming sort of feeling. Of course, that was until it happened again.
No, not the Blood Mark acting up. I meant the nightmares. I had thought that with Kylee by my side, I would be able to face them and deal with the torturous images, but it did nothing when it came to a new dream.
This one was not about me; at least not entirely. It was true that I was bleeding and losing life on the ground and staring blankly up at the sky, but that was where it ceased to be about me.
She came running up to me, tears streaking down her face, and screamed at me to stay awake. And then... I could see her cry out and fall over, her own blood mixing with mine. But I was still alive, and her wound was worse than mine was... She was dying and I couldn't even move to help her.
I couldn't face it now. Not when I knew it wasn't real. Not while she was next to me in the real world. Not when we had promised each other not to die. Not when she had started to mean more than life itself to me. Please... not now...
Instead, I gasped and opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. That stupid ceiling. I hated it. Plain and blank, just as my expression had been when she had been shot.
My expression had been more horrified and grief-stricken when she had almost died from the Scorpio venom. When I had saved her with my own blood. When she had learned of the Blood Mark and blamed herself. My expression had been a thousand times better than that stupid blank one that stared back at me from above...
I sighed and glanced to my right, staring at Kylee's peaceful face. She really had been the one sleeping next to me. I put my head back down and glared at the plain white ceiling, trying to figure out a way to make sure Kylee didn't find out in the morning I hadn't slept.
I sighed and looked down at her, wondering if she would wake up if I brushed the stray piece of hair out of her face. "I can't lose you..." I said to myself, though I was talking about her. It would be impossible and too much for me if she died now. I wouldn't be able to continue on if she died...
The first tear I held back, but I had to look away so more wouldn't come. Not now... Please... Don't leave me...
Cagin stared at Roko for a moment longer, then up at Jordan. It was none of his affair, but he could feel the alertness of the prince's mind as soon as he had awoken. The link that they shared was enough to send him small feelings that came from the boy as well as images of dreams that came to him. The new one had been particularly dreadful and even Cagin shuddered before falling asleep.
OOC: As you might say, "Fluff, fluff, and more fluff!" XD[size=36pt]... We are all corrupt...[/size]
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IC
I felt something shifting beneath my hands, but I didn't wake. I didn't want to- I was having a dream...
"Hello, chocho." Grandfather was there, in our house, walking on his chandelier. I wanted to cry in relief- he was OK! But I couldn't even now my mouth to speak- I was frozen. "I'm so glad you're alright." He looked at me, smiling sadly. "I can't stay long. I hear you've found the Prince?" He frowned as I didn't do anytime and came over.
"Chocho?"
I wanted to hug him, to tell him everything, but the dream was fading... -
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OOC:
I frowned and looked back at her, sitting up and tentatively brushing the hair out of her face. I hadn't wanted to wake her up, but it seemed that I wasn't the only to have bad dreams.
"Kylee," I whispered, wondering if I should shake her instead. No, that could end badly. Her knife was on the nightstand. "Kylee, wake up. You're having a bad dream."
I bit my lip and frowned, wondering what I could do... Something came to mind, but that was only last resort. Please wake up... Please... "Kylee," I started, my voice cracking, "I need you to wake up... Please. I can't do this alone."
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Just cuz I want to see what this 'last resort' is…
IC
I had been flailing mindlessly in the dark. I don't know what happened, but after Grandfather disappeared I could move. I was chasing after him, where the dream had left. Come back! I wanted to cry. Please! I felt like I had done something terribly wrong. Grandfather had looked sad before he left... I made him sad..
I heard another voice, but it was far off. I wanted to turn around, I really did. But I was so lost... -
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OOC: Hm, okay then... :p Fluffy time!
I hissed and grabbed her arms, holding her down before she could grab her knife. Would I really have to? Already I could feel myself dying on the inside as I watched her. She was worse than I was.
"Kylee," I whispered, trying my best to hold her still. "Please come back... I can't live without you here... You're keeping me from insanity..." I sighed and closed my eyes, pulling her up so that she was sitting somewhat.
If I had to, then I would. Though, I was still wary of that knife. "Please come back," I said again, releasing her wrists and leaning in, pressing my lips against hers and keeping myself up by putting a hand on the bedpost.
My free hand caught her back and held her up, my other hand digging into the bedpost. Contact with other humans was not something I liked doing too often, even if I did like them. There was a reason.
The pang inside of my chest flared up and I had to resist the urge to hurt her, keeping my left hand where it was by gripping the bed post. The fever that came with sensual contact was taking over my cheeks as well as the rest of my body, but it was burning and I could barely stay awake.
Come back to me... Please... It was already hurting and I tightened the grip on the bedpost again, still holding her up with my other hand. Not like keeping her up helped since my other hand was tightening around her shirt. Fight it, Jordan...
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^ • ^IC
I felt something yank me away from the darkness. My eyes were still shut, but the dark I had been in... That was crushing. This... I was conscious. I was awake and in control, and... and...
I opened my eyes to see Jordan kissing me.
So that made two firsts.
I felt my face heat up, but my eyes fluttered closed for a moment. My body relaxed and I opened my eyes again, and gently pulled away. I saw Jordan had been struggling with something, and I felt my heart drop. Maybe this was another nightmare- maybe Jordan had only done it to wake me up. I would've never admit it before, but Jordan was different.
I was in love with the Prince. -
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OOC: FLUFF!
Yay for Jordan's sadistic thinking! What a loser... :p
I panted and released my grip on the bedpost, staring down at the bed itself. "I'm sorry... I just... I couldn't watch it..." I said, gasping for breath. It had all been too much for me to handle and I was slowly losing control of my arm again. "You were..."
I looked away, dropping my arm and standing, though I swayed and had to catch myself against the wall. My arm flared up and I gripped it tightly, glaring at the wall. "I'm sorry..."
I couldn't think of much else to say, considering what I had just done, but maybe she wasn't too angry with me. I looked back and gave her a small smile. "Are you alright? You looked... pale..." I searched for something else to say as I held back the urge to grab her knife and do something stupid, but I only lost myself in her eyes.
Oh great, now I was thinking about something that made me want to kiss her again. No contact! That was the last thing I needed. Physical contact was... worse than the Blood Mark. Losing myself in it was too hard to control or fight against and I was always afraid I would hurt someone in moments when we both wanted something too badly.
Now, after almost losing myself, I understood why I couldn't bring myself to touch her before. At least not like I just had. Kissing her on the hand was... different. Wasn't it?
It hadn't brought up that flame that made me want to do something vicious, nor did it make me want to kill myself. How selfish could I be? Was I truly that terrible a person that I thought of only myself when kissing a person? Well, kissing a person was mainly selfish. But, maybe I was too selfish.
Not only did I want to keep others from her, but I wanted to keep her locked somewhere where I knew she would be safe. Not locked away so that she could not see people, but locked away while I was fighting something that could kill her.
Keeping her safe from Demons, men that would use her, or anyone that wanted to bring harm to her. Anything that could cause harm to the girl that I loved... Anything that could stop that smile that kept me from going insane.
But that was cruel and I would never do it... Not because I knew it was morally wrong, not because we had just sworn to protect each other, but because it would cause her more harm than those things ever could. Seeing me get hurt while she was trapped would do more harm than it would good... And I couldn't bear to see that.
I didn't know why, but I could feel liquid running down my arm and a sharp pain. I frowned and looked down at it, turning so Kylee wouldn't see it. I had dug my nails so far into my skin to stop my Blood Mark that I had punctured my skin and was now bleeding. Fantastic...
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Jordan could stop my line of sight, but not the blood that dropped onto the sheets. I grabbed the pck Miz Lessie gave me and rummaged around until I found the bandages, and kneeled down by the bed. I looked up at Jordan, gently removing his hand from his arm. I looked at the Mark, wrapping it.
"No... I'm sorry..." My voice caught in my throat and I stood up and gave him a hug, then pulled away, wiping the tears from my face. "This is all my fault..." -
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OOC:
I stared down, wondering just how terrible I looked. It wasn't until she hugged me when I felt that urge again. Stop it! I looked away and stared at the wall, trying to keep my hands away from her.
"You should get some sleep," I whispered, staring at the walls and the room. "I..." I cut myself off and groaned, falling onto the bed and covering my face with me hands.
"Argh, I hate being so weak!" I hissed, squeezing my eyes tightly and trying to stem off the pain in my chest. Being so close to her was driving me mad. So close and yet I couldn't - wouldn't - touch her.
I sighed and dropped my hands, blinking the black and blue dots and staring at that ridiculous ceiling again. "You have nothing to be sorry about... I... It wasn't like you have any control over your dreams..." I whispered, still trying to avoid eye contact with her.
That pull again. Was it me, or was it the Blood Mark? Either way, I needed to stop thinking about it and keep myself from her. If I kept my distance, maybe I wouldn't hurt her... Maybe I wouldn't do anything stupid... Maybe... I would be able to protect her...
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I looked down at him. I was so confused- I didn't know what I felt about Jordan anymore. He was sendin mixed signals, or maybe I was just dumb. But I knew he was sincere when sad he was weak.
And that made me mad.
"Weak? Jordan, you're anything but weak." I looked down at him, my eyes back to storm clouds. At least I knew how I felt about this, and I was making that clear. "If you want to call someone weak, then it's me. I got stung by the Scorpio. I was the one who didn't stop the guards before they shot you." I glared down at him, this time much more energized and sure.
"So don't you dare call yourself weak. If you're weak, what does that make me?" -
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OOC:
I laughed unsteadily and sat up, staring at her in amusement. "If I'm not weak, then neither are you," I said, holding her gray eyes with my blue ones. "And it's not physical strength that I'm talking about..."
I looked away, wondering what to tell her. If I told her that I was truly an awful person that wanted her locked away like that fairy tale so that she would be safe, what would she say? Most likely something about me being a jerk or stupid.
I sighed and moved over a little bit so that she could sit down. "It's not physical strength that I'm lacking... Mental stability is the problem," I whispered, staring at my hands. One hand had my blood on my nails and the other was perfectly clean. Well, aside from the Blood Mark curling at my wrist.
"How long would you stay with me if you knew something that I've never told anyone before?" I asked abruptly, looking back up at her. "Something that I'm too afraid to speak of that I never even told my mother... I mean my aunt..."
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Now it was my turn to lock my steely gaze on him. What was he talking about? Jordan was stronger than me, in every way possible. Not that's I would've admitted it before, but he was being ridiculous. Jordan had taken so much more than me and he was still going. Me? I would have found a nice quiet place to die ages ago if I had been thrown all this.
"Forever." I said. "I'm sticking by you no matter what." As if agreeif with me, Roko came over and just stared at Jordan, not making a sound. Maybe it was time Grandfather stopped calling me chocho and start calling me Okami- wolf. -
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OOC:
I blinked and stared at her for a moment, the debate rising up in my mind to tell her or not. Eventually, I sighed and kissed her cheek, holding myself back again. "I need to tell you this first, before I tell you anything else," I whispered, staring back at her again.
I didn't want to tell her anything before telling her how I felt. How I needed her. "Kylee, I can't see a life without you. I can't see myself going on while you're dying. I can't live without you..." I said. "I... My latest nightmare was about losing you... And I can't deal with that. I don't want to live without you..."
I sighed and dropped my eyes, staring at the ground. "It's the worst fear and future I can think of. I don't want it... It's driving me insane..."
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