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"Nikolai, wake up. Wake up Nikolai!" She said, getting louder.
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What do i do? (Good or bad boy needed)(PAFP)
- Jayfeather920
- Closed
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As the room collapsed around him, he was pulled back into consciousness. When he saw her face above him, he flinched away, refusing to meet her eyes.
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She huffed and leaned down, hugging him. "Thank God your ok." She whispered,
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"You didn't help," he whispered, shaking, every muscle in his body sore even though it had been a dream. "You were there, and you did nothing."
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"Something was blocking me from helping you, I couldn't use my magic either." She said to him.[/fancypost]
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He would not meet her eyes, closing his own instead. "Why did it happen?"
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"I don't know, it was like I was trapped in a box and I couldn't help you. Nikolai I'm sorry it happened again.... I don't know what I would do if I didn't help you."
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He turned away from her. "He- he broke me," Nikolai whispered. "Just like the day Alexei died."
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"Nikolai I'm sorry." She whispered, frowning.
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He said nothing, just slipped out of the bed and left the room, his head bowed.
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She got up and grabbed his hand, pulling him back in the room. "No Nikolai, you need to stop going quiet like that. I can't lose you or I'll die, you can't be like this please. I can't stand to see you like this." She told him.[/fancypost]
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He turned to look back at her, despair and defeat in his gaze. "You've been alright so far, haven't you?" he asked softly, pulling his hand away. "You said that you were supposed to protect me, but every time I really needed an angel, you haven't been able to do anything. And it- it feels sometimes like you're trying to force me into immediate recovery, when my mind just...it doesn't work like that, not until I've been broken and have no strength or spirit left. That is when forcing me into things works."
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She frowned, her blue eyes darkened and she looked down, feeling guilty. "I tried to help you long ago but whenever I tried it was like a wall was keeping me away from you like in your dreams. I could only watch as you were in trouble and I've always tried to help even when I knew I couldn't do anything. Nikolai I can only do so much, I hate seeing you defeated and broken because it breaks my heart knowing I can't do anything still... I've fallen for a guy that can't understand and I still can't help him now that he knows I've been here all the time. Nikolai that guy is you and I'm sorry for everything." She whispered, a few tears going down her face.[/fancypost]
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Nikolai stared at the floor. "I- I don't know quite what to say to that," he said softly. "You've seen me pretty much every moment of my life...and yet you still can fall for me. I- I don't know you at all, though, only that you've never been able to be there when I needed you most, except...except at the car crash when we finally met. Maybe the reason you haven't been able to help, though, is because you haven't made your choice. You're torn between light and dark, between trying to help and trying to hurt, and you need to make that choice before you are able to help."
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"You know I can't choose do easily, dark just takes over light and I can't do anything to stop that." She whispered, frowning more now.
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"I- I could try to help you," he pointed out, although he still wouldn't meet her eyes. "I don't know how much I could do or even how I could do it, but I could try. For- for now, though, I think I need to go home. I just...I need to be alone for a little while."
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She opened her mouth but thought better off it and shut it. "Okay." She whispered.
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He glanced back at her and offered a faint smile. "Here...if you can find a piece of paper, I'll give you my phone number. If not...well, you know where I live."
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She nodded and got a little notebook and pencil, handing it to him.
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Nikolai quickly scribbled down his phone number, then handed the notebook back to her and continued down the stairs.