How is my book so far? 10
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Great! Very intresting. (7) 70%
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I like it. (3) 30%
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Meh... (0) 0%
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I would improve one thing... (PM Me) (0) 0%
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No. Just... No. (0) 0%
Here is my fanfiction. It's a MAJOIR W.I.P. And could use your appreciation and criticism.
Prologue
The beach is wonderful. The greedy seagulls cry, the salty ocean air, the sun high in the afternoon sky. It was the perfect day for the Flynn-Fletcher family to go on a road trip for a good swim.
"Look Perry!" Phienas excitedly exclaimed,.holding his pet platypus high in the air. "We finally made it to the beach!"
"Phienas!" Phienas heard his mother call. "Come help us unpack our stuff please."
"Alright." The boy called before setting down Perry and dashing back to his family.
Perry sighed and looked at the relaxing ocean view, only to be interrupted by his O.W.C.A. wrist watch, wich seemed to go on constantly. Perry took a swift look at his gadget to see Major Monogram in the tiny face of the device. "Ah, Agent P." Perry's instructor greeted. "Sorry to interrupt you on your day off, but there is an emergency in your area."
"What do you need me to do, Monogram?" Perry asked.
"Ah!" The hologram gasped. "Your translation device is functioning! Any who, we have picked up some movement in the ocean, and have detected a young child struggling to reach the surface for air. It's up to you to save them." Monogram ordered. "Monogram out." The device shut off, leaving Perry staring at a blank screen.
Perry breathed out, then scampered his way into the cold, blue water.
As soon as the Platypus opened his eyes under water, his brown eyes spotted a young five year old girl struggling to swim upwards. Perry darted forward and grabbed the girl and started swimming slowly towards the shore.
As soon as the platypus and girl surfaced, he had swiftly dragged the girl onto the shore.
Perry grabbed the young girl's hand and guided her to drier land. The platypus lay the child on her back and started to check for any injuries, but instead noticed somthing the girl was holding.
A small stuffed animal, was it? Perry couldn't tell as he grabbed part of the tiny figure wich seemed like a paw. The platypus inspected the tiny paw, only to be surprised as claws sprang out, and dug into Perry's fur. Of course, Perry jumped back to catch his guard. The girl must of gained consciousness back, because she had lifted her head and turned to Perry. The child must of read the expression of Perry's face as he looked down in horror, and she handed him what he had thought was a stuffed animal.
The wet shape now lay in the platypus's hands, but now it looked up with bright pink eyes that were blinking out the Sun. "What is it?" He muttered to himself.
"She's a cat." The girl bleakly answered. "I swam out to save her, because cats don't swim."
Perry looked back down and rubbed a paw down the wet, blue fur. "Next time, know where your boundries are." He pointed out to the girl. "Your perfectly fine now. You can go find your parents now."
The girl nodded and got up on her feet, hobbling at first, but then gaining balance and limping away.
Perry smiled as he watched the girl slowly disappear over the sand dunes and looked over to see his family. The platypus got back down on all fours and purred, grabbing the kitten and waddling back to his owners.
WIP
