i l-l-l-love you ;; pafp

Maybe he's right, maybe I'm not ready for a friendship more less a boyfriend. I sat there for a moment letting his words sink in, his words made it quiet clear this wasn't a joke or a game but something deep down told me to get out and leave. I need to start over, I need to change who I am. With a bit of my lip, I leaned forward ready to get out of the car. But something stopped me. You leave now, you'll never see him again. And I care why? Because you like him. Do not. Lie again. I like everything about myself. Raygan! What? Don't be stupid, stay in the car and go with him. You'll have fun, this is the perfect chance to actually let someone in like you've been wanting too. How can I trust him? Just do it, he's not gonna hurt you. Trust me. I hate that stupid voice in my head, it was my own but it had a different personality than my actual own. That probably doesn't make any sense, but whatever.

Shaking my head, I leaned back in the seat. I glanced over at him, he looked like he wanted me to leave so why stay? I wanted to leave, but something told me if I did leave I'll regret it in the end. But he looks like he can't stand to be around me anymore. I'm sure if I leave now, he won't give a damn. Stop that! Stop what? Don't play stupid. But it's true, he looks like he's just waiting on me to leave. Because he thinks you down right hate him. But I don't... Then stay in the car. But... But nothing, stay. He doesn't want me here. What did I just say? I know what you said, but you can't tell me that he doesn't look like he's ready for me to leave. Because you have your mind set on this is a game, a joke, a setup that was planned by Jenna. Raygan you need to think, he's the new kid. How could he know Jenna? Facebook. No! Stop it! It clearly has nothing to do with Jenna, he admitted she wasn't his type. That's what he wants me to think... Stop it! Go with him, if you really liked him, if you really don't hate him, then stay. If you leave, he'll thinking that you hate him and you'll never see his face more less hear that voice of his. Again that voice was right, but if you really look at him he looked like he wanted me to just leave. I wanted to leave, but decided not too.

I sat there in dead silence fighting with myself once more about if I should leave or not, there were so many reasons why I should leave but then there were also so many reasons I shouldn't. In the end that stupid voice won. I looked out the window, struggling to find words to break the silence. "You said seven right?" I asked, finally coming up with something to say.

I really didn't want to go home, anywhere but home was fine with me. I shrugged my shoulders, my gaze out the window. I really didn't know where to go, although I didn't want to stay in a car the whole time. "I'd prefer we go to your house if that's fine you." I answered, glancing over at him with another shrug of my shoulders.

I went to look out the window, but before I could he handed his hat to me. I looked down at his hat as he held out to me, was he serious about what he just said? Did he really think that? With a smile, I grabbed the hat and placed it on my head. "I never thought I looked good in these things." I told, adjusting my hair in a few places.

When was the last time I had ice cream? Oh yeah that's right, about two months ago. I nodded with a slight smile, "Sounds amazing." I answered, looking out the window. There were so many buildings around here, most were used but there were those that were just too old to be used. But they held such backgrounds to them, at least some of them did anyways.

When the car came to a stop, Marty was out of the car in two seconds and opening my door. I blinked a bit stunned how quickly he could move, but I unbuckled my seat belt then grabbed his hand and pulled myself out of the car. I glanced around, adjusting the hat. I don't drive around town much, I never knew this place was here. Shrugging it off mentally, I shut the car door and waited for Marty to led the way.

I was a bit surprised, okay not a bit, completely surprised he didn't let go of my hand. I think it made him feel safe or it was some kind of comfort thing, I really don't know what it was but I really didn't mind just as long as this didn't lead to other things. I don't need to get emotionally involved with a guy, they lead to nothing but heartbreak.

Following in after him, I kind of fell silent of unsure of what to say. How long as this place been here? I've never seen it, I might have just missed it when I was with mom or something. Who knows. I don't get out much unless I'm with mom and my aunt, but they're hardly ever around. I looked around the area, it was a nice little setup kind of cute actually, but I still managed to miss it. Hearing him speak snapped me out of my little train of thought, I looked at him and shrugged. "I don't know, chocolate is fine with me." I answered.

When he released my hand I kind of panicked, I don't know why but I did. But I calmed myself down and sat on one of the stools; I still don't know how I didn't see this place before. Goes to show much I pay attention. I didn't say a word as Marty ordered the ice cream, just sat there quietly like I normally do.

Biting my bottom lip, I started staring off into space waiting on the ice cream or for something to be said. My mind traveled off and started thinking about my mother and my aunt, my aunt has been living with us for as long as I can remember I really don't know why she hasn't moved out but I actually like having her around. She's like the man of the house, she keeps the rules down, but has a gentle side for when you need her help. When I heard his voice, I snapped out of my little daze and looked over at him. I shrugged, there was nothing really all that interesting besides the little things I do. "I dance, play guitar, skateboard, and draw if that counts as interesting." I shrugged. I never did count myself as an interesting person, I just kind of thought of myself as a stuttering mess.