i l-l-l-love you ;; pafp

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]Nailed it! I mentally praised myself, I managed to speak to him without stuttering but then again I wasn't really looking at him. I would glance over at him now and again when I spoke, but I wasn't staring at him. I wouldn't be able to do it. I was proud of myself for being able to speak without a single stutter, I nearly smiled but if I smile everyone will panic. Nobody in this school has seen a smile on my face, not one. Not even the teacher, now that should say something.

But his reaction to me speaking scared me, that look. I don't know if it was a good look or a bad look, it seemed stunned, shocked but I don't know if in a good way or a bad way. I bit my bottom lip, I knew I should have just kept quiet. Now he wasn't speaking. Was it because I spoke without a single stutter? I stuttered like a fool the first time I spoke to him and ever since I've been afraid to speak, but hey you've gotta speak up for yourself at some point.

Finally he speaks, thank god. I feel relived when he speaks, I thought he was just going to run but he spoke. He's understanding where I'm coming from, good I really didn't want to have to explain myself. Wait, he thinks my shyness is cute? Is there something wrong with him? Nobody at this school finds anything about me cute, sure some girls like my hair and my clothing style but that's it. Nothing else. So he does understand where I go the Mickey thing from, I still won't call him that unless he really wants me too. How does he expect me not to listen to them? They're all around me, and I don't need my ass getting jumped. I really don't.

Just as he started falling silent, the bell rang. Damn. He was quick to grab everything and run, Great, I scared him off. I thought just as Jenna slammed her hand down on my desk. "Look here Mouse freak, he's mine so back the fuck off or you'll end up uglier than what you already are." She snapped at me, her blue eyes holding such anger and determination to win Marty. Well since Marty ran off on me like that, I doubt I'll hear from him again. With a simple sigh, I shoved the last of my things in my book bag and zipped it. "He's all yours." I muttered, slinging my book bag over my left shoulder and shoving past Jenna and her crew nearly knocking Jenna on her face. I nearly laughed but held it in knowing it wouldn't be smart to laugh with her right there.

With a sigh escaping my pale lips, I headed off to my second period. Art. Finally, something I'm good at and I enjoy. I wonder where Marty is headed to next? I'll just be glad to eat, I pack my lunch and I'm starving. Eating school lunch seems like a bad idea, half the stuff they serve doesn't even look human but the kids here eat it so I guess it's half way decent. Stepping into the art room, I hear nothing but girls buzzing about Marty. Seriously? Rolling my eyes once more, I sit down at my seat and start pulling out my sketch book, colored pencils, and markers out. I prefer to use my own stuff rather than the schools, I don't need to go home and try to work on something without having the colors I need so I stick with what I have. I can't get the thought out of my head that I scared off the new kid, and just by speaking to him without stuttering. Now I remember why I don't speak.

Jenna was now running trying to catch up with Marty, her heels clicking away on the school floor. When she was close enough, she grabbed Marty's arm and pulled on it. "So cutie, where are you headed to?" She asked flashing that perfect white smile of hers.

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]Jenna opened her mouth to say something, but as soon she went to say something she couldn't get a sound out before he rushed into the art room. Why doesn't he like her? She's everything any guy could want. At least what most guys want anyways, what's different with this one? Shaking her head, she headed off to World History. She'd win him one way or another.

~~~

His name was the constant thing I heard, god just shut up already. Marty that, Marty this, Marty is so cute, Marty is so hot, I want Marty has my boyfriend. Ugh, seriously? He's a guy, get the hell over it. They've seen plenty, we all have. I finished pulling my stuff out, now just time to wait for the bell to ring. Letting out a small sigh, I glanced at the clock. Time was dragging by today for whatever reason, I just wanted to go home already. I wasn't really all that hungry anymore, I'm honestly too confused and upset with myself to really eat. I mean I spoke to Marty just fine, I didn't stutter but the time I don't stutter is when I scare him away. What did I say?

Just as I went to rest my head on the desk, a group of girls squealed. I flinched at the sound as I covered my right ear, jeez. I looked over at the door which they were pointing but seen nothing, whatever. But then someone sat down in front of me, I raised an eyebrow. Normally I'm completely alone, who is it that could possibly be sitting in front of me. What did they want? Maybe they didn't see me here, although it's kind of hard to miss me with my blue hair. Shrugging it off, I glanced at the clock once more and when I did the person turned around and spoke. That voice made my whole body go still. Marty. What did he want? Pulling my gaze to him slowly, I listened to him speak. He must not be nervous anymore, he's not stuttering like he was earlier.

Why does he care what's wrong with me? He likes Jenna, wants Jenna, or one of her Barbie friends. Fuck him. He's just like the rest, no matter he says. I bit my bottom lip, fighting with myself trying to figure out if I should tell him or not. Tell him! Why? He doesn't care. You don't know that. Sure I do. How? He's a guy. And? Men never care. Not true. Is too. Is not. Is too. Just tell him! After fighting with myself, I sucked in a breath and shrugged. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out, I knew I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Shutting my mouth quietly, I looked down at my sketch book my blue hair falling around my face. But if I don't tell him, I'm sure he'll just bug me til I do. Shaking my head, I looked back up at him. Play it cool Raygan, don't think about his looks or what others might say. Pretend you're talking to mom. Yeah, that'll work. "Oh, I don't know. It might have to do with the fact that you basically ran away as if you couldn't stand to be around me any longer. I thought you said you weren't like the rest." I muttered. "Oh shut up Raygan." A female from behind me said, she had brown hair with blonde highlights masking over some of her brown hair.

And he wonders why I don't speak. Too bad I'm not at home, I really could use a razor blade right about now. Balling my hands into fists, I looked down at my sketch book again. She's right, nobody does care. Not even him, but he asked. "He just asked you what's wrong because he's being nice, he's the new kid. He'll run away in two seconds." The girl went on. She's right once again. The bell rang minutes ago but the teacher wasn't in the room, probably getting supplies. I bit my bottom lip, I quit. I'm done talking, I may as well never return to this damn place. Nobody would notice.

Just keep talking, pay no mind to her. But she's right. No she's not. She is too. How? Because everyone runs away. Because you let these girls run your social life, stand up yourself. It's pointless. Not really. Yeah it is. Have you tired? No. Then stop saying it's pointless, nothing is pointless. Give it a shot, finish what you were saying. No, I'm wasting my breath. He'll dart again in two seconds like he did when the bell rang. I talk to myself all the time, of course in my head though if I spoke out loud that would just be weird...Really weird. I fell silent, refusing to say anything else. There was no point in wasting my breath on something like this.

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]This was driving me nuts, I really didn't want to be here I just wanted to go home and cry. This is what I go through on a daily basis, yeah I cry myself to sleep almost every night. But my mom does her best to keep me happy, so does Aunt Mia. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't. Music sounded amazing right about now, but they didn't allow music in class unless it was free time which is art we had a lot of. But I normally just focused on my work, I didn't need music for that.

I was still silent, I was waiting on him to get up and leave. And just then, he got up saying something to the brunette behind me. Great. With an eye roll, I stared at my sketch book waiting on them to kiss or something but that's not what we got. His words took me by surprise, I wasn't expecting that. Why was he standing up for me? I turned around to see her expression, it was mixed with shock and hurt. I couldn't let but let out a giggle, best day ever. When he was done saying what he had to say, I turned around in my seat acting as if I seen nothing. Staring at my sketch book, I noticed he didn't move seats. What is he doing? Why isn't he sitting with someone else?

His words took me by surprise once again, can he repeat that? I don't think I heard him right. I think he meant, how could I not run from you. But what I think I heard was he couldn't run from me. Heels clicking on the floor near the door made everyone silent, I stared at my sketch book trying to make sense of what just happened but my mind couldn't process it. I'm so confused, he says he couldn't run from me but does he wanna explain what he did when the bell rang dismissing first period? It seemed like he was running away to me, but whatever he says. After the teacher handed Marty his supplies, she walked to the front of the classroom with a big grin on her face. "Alright, today you will be drawing a person. It could be anyone. Someone you know, your neighbor, a singer, anyone, it could even be someone you've made up. Don't rush, this is due next Monday so take your time and make it the best you can." She smiled at us and then went to working on her own masterpiece. "Could it be a band or a group of people?" Someone asked. "Yup." The teacher answered.

Who am I going to draw? I bit my lip thinking of who I could draw, there's Andy Sixx, Kellin Quinn, Vic, Mac Miller, my mom, my aunt, there's plenty. Maybe I could all of them? Yeah, that'll work. Opening my sketch book, I flipped to a blank page and started drawing Andy Sixx. He's changed, well sort of. His hair style has anyways. But still cute as ever though. I wonder who Marty is going to draw, but it was only a few minutes til I heard two females both saying they were gonna draw Marty. Are you serious? I shook my head at the girls, but kept working on my own art. I have a spare sketch book in my book bag if Marty needs, I didn't see what all the teacher gave him but I'm pretty sure she gave him everything, she gave everyone what they needed I just chose to use my own stuff. Well everything is mine expect for the sketch book, I kept the teacher's sketch book that she gave me but I bought my own just in case I ran out of paper. Letting out a small quiet sigh, I focused on my art and kept quiet as normal my mind still trying to process what Marty said.

ooc ;; it's fine love, c: i just have really high muse right now. my post will die down at some point. cx

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]Hold up, what did he just say? I think he said that all wrong, he means the opposite of the words he does. I'm pretty sure he did, but he just said the wrong things. I stopped drawing for a moments to process all this, I think those words are lies. When is he gonna realize he's going to regret being around me? If he doesn't already.

The two Barbies were quiet, stunned and confused by his words. At first they didn't know what to say, but you have to remember who we're talking about here. These are the Barbies, they'll find something to say. And sure enough they did. "Uh, sweetie I think you mean us not that blue haired Mouse." Sofia said with a slight smirk on her face. "Yeah." The blonde said agreeing.

I could feel his eyes on me, so I was quick to pick up my pencil and go back to drawing. Shaking my head, I went back to working on Kellin Quinn. He'll be done soon, the main ones I'm gonna have to take time on is my mom and aunt, they mean the most to me even though we do struggle with a lot of things.

I should say something, but once again I'm just gonna waste my breath. So I just remain quiet wondering what Marty will say next or if he'll just give up and go work on his art. Marty isn't someone you can predict what he's gonna do, he's surprised us all with his actions. Not wanting Jenna, telling off the girls, standing up for me. He just needs to stop before he gets himself in too deep, Jenna honestly thinks he's just playing hard to get along with the others.

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]The girls gasped and ran back to their seats ranting on and on about their hair and make up, they can't go without make up, they wouldn't look flawless if they didn't have it on. But never the less, if it pleased Marty they're willing to fix themselves to make him happy. The blonde's hand shot up moments later after the two had shut up. "Yes, Mrs. Clayton?" Mrs. Dawn asked, glancing at the female. "Can we go to the bathroom?" The blonde asked. "Quickly." Mrs. Dawn answered and the two shot out of the room.

I had to keep myself from laughing, I've never heard anyone say such things to the Barbies. We all know he was lying, they looked amazing with it on but he was clearly done speaking to the girls. But they weren't done with him, none of the girls were but most of them were honestly waiting for the "right time" to talk to him as they call it. They think if they wait long enough, he'll be more into them.

Kellin is finally done, that's two down and god knows how many more to go. Next on my list was Mac Miller than it was onto Vic from Pierce the Veil, then it was Hailey Williams. That's probably all I'll get done in here, wait what time is it? I glanced up at the clock, we still had like an hour in here maybe I'll get to more people than I thought. Shrugging, I went back to working on my art but it was only moments til I was peeking my head off to the side to see who Marty was drawing although I couldn't get a good shot of who the person was. All I know was that he was going to town with that blue.

My hair was blue yes, but you see it was kind of different. My hair faded from shade of blue to the next, one side was a dark blue the other was a lighter blue. I know it's "normal" but according to the people here, I'm not normal at all so it works for fine if you ask me. Shrugging once again, I went back to working. Again.

It was only moments later that I heard clicks slowly clicking around the room, Mrs. Dawn must be taking a look around. She glanced at mine and tapped Kellin's face with her finger. "He's a singer I know that, but who are the rest of these people?" She asked. Seriously? With a small shrug, I pointed to each one naming them as I went. She didn't seem to know any of them expect for Kellin, how does she know Kellin's face but not the rest? "Are you going to do anyone special? Like a crush? Loved one? Family member?" She asked me. "Maybe." I answered with a small shrug. She nodded and carried into Marty, she grinned and nodded. "Is there a name to this person?" She asked, seeing there was nothing to clearly name out the person although she could tell just from the girls he was using.

I glanced up at her, why is her grin so big? She seems to like his art a lot for some reason, now I have to find out who he's drawing. Maybe if I listen close enough I'll be able to hear him, although Marty likes talking so I doubt I'll have no problem hearing him. With a shrug, I went back to working on my art waiting for him to answer Mrs. Dawn. Truth be told, I'm just waiting for him to say Jenna but she doesn't wear blue for the simple fact that my hair is dyed blue.

Minutes later there was a group of girls gasping, that was the thing about this class there were one too many girls in here. There were a good number of guys in here, but the females ruled the men out by quiet a few. All of them but one, me were Barbies. "Sofia! Lily! What happened to your faces?" A girl from the back asked. I glanced up and nearly busted out laughing, those girls were nothing without their make up. Every trace of make up was gone expect for a light shade of eyeliner under their eyes. I quickly looked down, biting my bottom lip as if I was focused on my work but I was trying not to laugh. Mrs. Dawn herself even turned around and let out a gasp, now that's gotta mean something.

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]Mrs. Dawn clearly knew who it was but she wasn't willing to spill the details and clearly he wasn't either, he said he didn't know but he knew. How could he not? He was the one drawing the person, he has to know he who it is. I don't know why it's bothering me so much but it is and it's gonna kill me til I find out.

Everyone was so shocked by the girls, I honestly thought it was funny that these girls were willing to do anything to please their beloved Marty. I heard Marty's comment and let out a giggle, I think the girls heard it too because their jaws dropped open. "Girls please take a seat." Mrs. Dawn said. The girls stared at Marty then eyed me, what did I do? But they returned to my seat, of course not without messing with me first. Lily knocked my sketch book off my desk and Sofia stepped on it. I was surprised she didn't make a hole in it with her heels. With a small sigh and shake of my head, I leaned down and grabbed my sketch book. This was getting old but I wasn't doing anything to stop it.

Mrs. Dawn glanced at Marty, she nodded slowly and went on to the next student. I was still trying to figure out who he was drawing, but I had no way of seeing. Damn. Biting my bottom lip, I dusted off pieces of dirt or whatever it was that came of Sofia's heels and got back to work. Where is Marty going to sit at lunch? With Jenna duh. Ask him to sit with you. No. Why not? Because if he does, he'll just bring Barbies to my table or he'll be getting dragged every which way by girls wanting him to sit with them. And? He doesn't want it and I don't need to hear anything from Jenna. Stand up for yourself. You're funny. I'm serious. So am I. Stand up for yourself, you're never going to get anywhere in life if you don't. And I care why? Because you should. I should but I don't. I sighed and shook my head, I really need to stop fighting with myself but I can't help it.

Is it me he's drawing? No. How do you know? Because who would wanna draw you? Because. Because why? Because maybe he likes something about me. Keep dreaming. Why do you do that? Do what? Down yourself? Let yourself get pushed around? Because. Because why? Because for one I don't stand a chance against the Barbies. Two, I don't need to waste my breath on pointless things. Is everything pointless to you. Pretty much. I shook my head again, why would he draw me? It just wouldn't make sense. But then again, why has he stood up for me? Talked to me? Because he likes you. Stop lying. I'm not. Clearly you are, he's too cute to like me. There you go again. What? Downing yourself. It's a daily thing, you should know that by now. You need to stop. Why? Because you're pretty and you have an amazing personality. I stutter. So? Why would he like someone that stutters? Maybe he likes you for who you actually are. He doesn't know me. You won't let him get to know you. It's pointless. Not. Is too. How so? Because it is. No, it's not. Letting others in isn't such a bad thing. It is too. How? People lie, most are fake anyways. Marty isn't. True. Then open up to him. No. Why? Pointless. Once again I'm fighting with myself for no reason, I want to do so many things, say so many things but things never get said or done. I need to be more open but I'm honestly too scared to let others.

[align=center][size=8][font=georgia]I was thankful he didn't start cussing me, I let out a small sigh of relief and glanced at the clock again. Two minutes, I don't have time to take ten different pictures one or two should be fine though. I looked back at him as he asked about a special pose, I noticed he was moving eyebrows in a way that funny at least to me anyways.

I giggled and shook my head, wait I just giggled. Oh Hell. As soon as I realized I giggled in school, I bit my bottom lip again. "No, you're fine they way you are." I answered looking down at my phone. After pushing a few things, I held my phone up and angled it slightly to the left. There. I pushed the button on my phone, of course it was delayed because all smart phones are slow at least all the ones I've had anyways. Before he could move, I snapped another then put my phone in my front left jean pocket. "Thanks." I said with a small smile.

I wasn't going to blog it on the internet or anything, sure I love tumblr to death but Marty seems a bit funny about having his picture taken. What? You didn't think I noticed the way he answered me. I bet you he's cussing himself for saying yes but the guy has nothing to worry about. Just then the bell rang, I grabbed my book bag and stood up. Of course it was only moments til the girls crowded Marty. Shaking my head, I slung one of my book bag straps over my left shoulder and stepped forward. "Sorry ladies, he's my lunch buddy." I said with a slight smirk, but before either Marty or the group of girls could say anything I grabbed Marty's wrist and dragged him out the room.

What did I just do? You stood up to the girls. That's not good. Why is that? Because I just basically took Jenna's lunch date. And? I'm gonna die. You are not, stand up to her. You did just fine taking Marty away. I didn't take him away, I just helped him. Exactly, normally you would have just walked out. And? He's changing you. Not really. Lie again. I'm pretty. Smartass. You told me to do it. You weren't supposed to take me seriously. Well I did. As soon as we stepped out of the room, Jenna's famous perfume clogged my nose. Shit. "What the fuck are you doing with my boyfriend?" Jenna asked. I accidentally tighten my grip on Marty's wrist, fear and nervousness always take over when Jenna's around and normally my hands are free to ball up but I can't exactly do that with Marty's wrist in my left hand. "I...Uh...Well..." I said struggling for words. You can do it.

Shaking my head, I looked over at Jenna. "He's not yours." I muttered. "Excuse me? Of course he's mine." Jenna said stepping towards Marty, she tried to push me to the side but I gripped Marty's wrist tighter and didn't move. "Move Freak." Jenna snapped, giving me a glare from Hell. I swallowed hard but shook my head, "N-N-No." I replied. "Y-Y-Yes." She mocked. Damn, I stuttered. I released Marty's wrist and stepped back, my gaze glued to the floor. You fucking idiot! "I thought you'd see it my way." Jenna muttered, grabbing a hold of Marty's hand and locking their fingers together. I caught sight of their hands, they seem like a couple well they would make a good couple if they were together. According to Jenna they are though. I shook my head and went around the two, my pace quick. I went to the lunch room and took my normal seat at my normal table in the corner. I sat there and stared at the table, what was I thinking? I could never stand up to her.

With a shake of my head, I slipped my book bag off my shoulder and tossed it under my feet. I'm not hungry, at least not anymore. Sighing, I placed my head in my hands and cussed myself. I was so close to winning that fight, but I backed out like the stupid person I am.

~~

With a smile on her perfectly glossed lips, Jenna clung to Marty's arm as she started walking dragging Marty with her. "So Mickey, tell me more about yourself." She giggled, as they slowly reached the lunch room.