Forgetting the past

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    After a short period of them all just eating, Tornear stood up and shook himself. "I'm feeling exhausted after the fight, I'm going to get some rest. Are you feeling tired, too, Duskfeather?" He finished, yawning and blinking at her sleepily.

    Tornear's words made Duskfeather realize suddenly that she was, in fact, tired. The battle with the dogs had worn her out more than she'd though it would, and her legs ached after the day of running. "Yes," she replied, stretching and standing up. Then Duskfeather turned and padded slowly towards the warriors den, waiting for Tornear to follow.

    Tornear followed after Duskfeather and slipped into the den beside her. He lumbered over to his nest and clunked himself down, immediately falling asleep.

    Duskfeather settled down in her own nest, and sighed quietly. She had been meaning to ask Tornear about... But that would have to wait for tomorrow. Resting her head on her paws, Duskfeather fell asleep.

    OOC: *timeskip*


    Tornear yawned and stretched his legs outwards. He steadily blinked open his eyes and saw bright sunlight streaming into the den. It must be way past sunhigh..., Tornear reasoned, furrowing his brow, Why did no one wake me...? He got onto his feet and padded outside the Warrior's Den. All that was left on the fresh-kill pile was a small mouse and two lizards. He sighed, clenched the mouse in his teeth, took it to a quiet open spot, and began to eat it, reminding himself to join a hunting patrol later.

    Duskfeather entered the camp, and bounded over to Tornear when she saw that he'd awoken. She dropped two voles at his paws, as she'd just gone hunting. Her own spirals of thought and endless questions woke her up early in the morning, and not wanting to wake Tornear as well, Duskfeather had gone hunting. "Hi..."

    Tornear dipped his head in return, gulping down the remains of the mouse, and immediately tearing into one of the voles she had laid down in front of him. Tornear looked her up and down curiously, silently wondering how much earlier she had woken up than him.

    "Tornear," Duskfeather mewed suddenly, making up her mind. "Mottlefur told me, that before she was kitted..." Before even Lilyflame? She swallowed nervously. "That you lost someone very close to you... And her brother was named for her." Her. She really didn't want to pry into it, but she had to know. What if Tornear...

    Tornear stiffened, suddenly losing his appetite. "I... Didn't know Mottlefur knew about her... Why would Lilyflame...? I guess that means there really were no hard feelings..." He murmurred, his head down, staring at the ground. He pivoted his head suddenly, staring hard at Duskfeather. "When did Mottlefur tell you about this?" He demanded.

    That means Mottlefur must've been lying..., Tornear thought, feeling more betrayed than angry. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to block out the memories he had been able to forget about for so long. His eyes softened, and he spoke with a gentler tone, "Rose. Her name was Rose. We named Thornkit after Rose..." He paused, then almost whispered, "Thornkit looked exactly like her..." Pain bubbled in his chest, and he swallowed, trying to keep himself from crying out like a kit in sorrow.

    "She was the closest thing to a sister I ever had." He explained softly, taking a deep breath before continuing, "She was the first cat I knew to get rabies... And it was all my fault." He hung his head shamefully.

    "I'm sorry..." And she genuinely was. She shouldn't have asked at all, it wasn't her business, and she'd known how much rabies had changed his life. But... "What happened? I'm sure you didn't..."

    Tornear shifted his stance and sighed. He raises his head to look at Duskfeather. "It was a normal Newleaf day. It was still early, and kind of chilly. I was going on patrol with Lilyflame and Rose. Lilyflame had taken me off to the side, to tell me something. That... That she wanted to be my mate. I happily accepted, as I had shared the feelings for her for awhile also. Rose overheard us... She became upset, and she told me that she had had feelings for me as well... I was surprised, and I apologized to her, and explained that she was like a sister to me... That didn't help. She scampered off in grief... And ran into a wolf-" Tornear cut off abruptly, his shoulders trembling, unable to continue.

    "Oh..." How could she have thought... Duskfeather didn't know what she could say to help; she was at a loss of words. "I'm sorry..." She repeated lamely, nuzzling Tornear gently.

    "None of that was your fault, you don't have to be sorry..." Tornear replied, curling his tail around her and returning the gesture. "I did love Rose, but not in the way she had hoped..." He mumbled, mostly to himself.

    Duskfeather nodded. "I know... But it's still so hard to accept the past... Isn't it?" She asked softly, thinking back to Dawnpaw... "You don't have to blame yourself, it was Rose's choice." After a pause, Duskfeather continued, golden eyes tinged with dull resignation, "Life is cruel like that, but at the same time, generous. After all, if things had been slightly different, it could have been you who... Who died." She caught her breath in the last phrase, and looked down at her paws with countless emotions swirling through her at once. Love, fear, grief... And anger?

    Tornear didn't reply immediately, he just stared, as if in a trance, at the ground. Eventually he said, "You're right. I guess that's just why we have to be glad for what we have, instead of what we've lost. That's why I need to stop living in the past." He paused, and licked her forehead, quickly adding, "Thanks, again, Duskfeather. You're the reason why I've realized that."

    "Thanks..." Duskfeather mewed softly. She hasn't bee sure that she'd have helped, but... "Do you want to go hunting? Or..." She changed the subject.