Falling to Pieces } private

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    She attended the meeting but was unable to hear the new changes and whatnot. Afterwards, someone had been nice enough to tell her through telepathy, and what she heard honestly scared her. Show any type of kindness and you'll become a slave? Kindness was in her personality! she wasn't adapting to BloodClan fast enough, fuck she wasn't even sure if she was adapting at all. She couldn't be some cold-hearted monster.


    She needed to talk to someone, but she didn't want to talk to Cataclysm yet because she didn't want him to freak out. "Darken!" Jacky actually spoke aloud, her words coming as a loud whimper of desperation.

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. Darkenpool was fully aware of the new rule and he almost agreed with it. This was BloodClan, man the fuck up or get the fuck out. But Jacky, of course he wouldn't want the former SunClanner to get the fuck out. So he was just as worried as her. Snapping his head in her direction as he heard his name called, he would twitch his tail and run over to her. "Are we thinking about the same thing? . . . . Slave rule."

    The Bengal nodded, frowning. "I can't not be kind, Darkenpool," she began with a whimper. "I'm gonna mess up and I'm probably gonna be kind to the slaves, or I'm gonna fuck up and I'm gonna turn into a slave. An-And if I'm a slave anyone could do whatever they wanted and t-that means that can r-r-"


    Ranting, Jacky would begin to breath heavily, not liking the thought of some stranger touching her in that way or hitting her and such. "I-I wanna leave, but I don't want Catty to go to his drone-mode. I don't know what to do.'

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. I mixed it up - so when it's bolded pretend that he's saying it telepathically


    IC. Oh no no no she couldn't be a slave? Especially not when she put it that way! Darken would feel his legs to start shake as he would force himself over to her, trying not to chatter his teeth. He wasn't usually this shaky, but the thought of losing Mai. Or Corbett even - what about his own daughter? She was nicer than anyone in this clan! Perhaps he would ask Jacky to take her to SunClan and raise her as his own - or at least something of the sort. Oh, he didn't know!!


    "Mai, it-it-it's going to b-be aright! I promise I won't let anyone t-to-to-tou- hurt you ever! Whether that is se-se-s-s-sex- whatever it is no one will hurt you!" He promised. Some things he couldn't say, as even the thought of it was just too bazar and horrid for him.


    "I-I-I-I-I will find a way to protect you! I-I-I'll have one of my f-f-f-am-family members come and ta-ta-ta-tak- pretend to be your owner to make sure that you're ok. An-an-an-and I know that Cat will help m-m-me too!" Geez - talking was hard!

    Her lip quivering, Jacky would begin to cry, crouching to the sand. She didn't want to be a slave, but she just knew it was going to happen. She let clanmates walk all over her anyway, so it wasn't like it would be different anyway, but still! She didn't want to get beat again, she didn't want to be raped, she promised!

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. Though rape wouldn't really be breaking her promise, there was a chance that it could happen. And the fact that she was raped - what two - three times? That was sad beyond the meaning of the word. Darken would have to fasten his claws into the ground, assuming he was over exaggerating the new rule too, to keep his feet from shaking as violently as they were. He would bite down on his lip and shake his head.


    "No, I-I-I-I wouldn't let th-tha-th-that happen. Y-y-y-y-you'll b-b-b-be ok!" He would promise. Perhaps he eas stuttering because he was trying to lie and tell her the truth at the same time - which was pretty hard to do in this sort of situation.

    Her face pressed into the sand, Jacky would continue to cry quietly as a new thought intruded the current ones. Rising, the female would wipe away the sand on her face and sniffle, ready to speak in her unfortunate monotone voice. "I'm the daughter and f-fiancé of third tiers, and what am I? I'm a s-stupid first tier that doesn't know how to fight as w-well as everyone else, I'm a s-stupid drama queen, and I'm failing them. I'm not m-making anyone proud of me. I want them t-to be proud of me, and if mommy and d-daddy were around they wouldn't be proud of me, and Catty probably isn't p-proud of me. . . "

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. He was a first tier too. One that was trying to climb his way up the ladder, but falling. The poor guy, he had nothing else to do besides try to be active and not fuck up again. He would walk over to her and press his head against hers, as it wasn't in any sort of 'love' connection, he just wanted to soothe her. "I was a second tier. At least you have something you can do! I heard you were good with herbs . . . " He'd say to her telepathically.


    He was starting to calm down. He just needed to make sure that she was ok, and it would all be fine. "Mai, if you were trained as an apprentice, maybe you wouldn't be a slave as long as you didn't disrespect anyone." He said with a flick of his ear, his head still pressing up against her. "Maybe Cat and I, and Ink or something, we could all work together to train you!"

    Her cheeks would immediately grow hotter as he spoke. Who told him she was good with herbs. . .? She couldn't help but nuzzle him with a frown, attempting to wrap her fore-arms around him. She wanted comfort, and she could tell Cataclysm that it was simply just that. "No one ever bothered to train me as an apprentice, and I didn't wanna be an old apprentice so I made myself a warrior. But I'm not a warrior. . . I'm useless a-and I don't wanna mess up. If you guys train me. . . t-that's gonna be embarrassing. . ."

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. Darken would hug her back, as he had gotten permission from Cataclysm to do so if she was hurt. Giving his tail a flick behind him, he would shake his head. "You just need a mentor - that's all! And if we all trained you in private, you won't be embarrassed and you'll be better!" He would telepathically say to her. He would give nod his head and sigh. "Don't worry, you'll be a top notch BloodClanner soon! You got strong blood!" He laughed.

    That was the problem, though. She didn't want to be a top notch BloodClanner. She wanted to be herself in a place where she wouldn't get in trouble or be judged. The only thing keeping her in BloodClan was Cataclysm. Her kits were keeping her here, too, but the first litter was poisoned with the rumors and she didn't know what to do about it. "I have to put on an act, don't I?" she frowned, whispering in the male's ear. "I have to pretend."

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. The tom would shake his head. No, she didn't have to pretend to be cruel or mean or anything that she didn't like. He would have to twitch his ear softly as her words tickled his ears, but he would reply just as quiet, as if whispering back to her. "Noo, dear! All you have to do is just be good enough to handle yourself in a battle and they'll let you stay! I'm usually pretty nice to others, and no one minds!" He would smile. He didn't mean to call her dear in a lovingly way - more in a daughter or something way.

    "But Aima said. . . " she trailed off, not really wanting to tell him what Aima told her. Her frown increased and she would simply press her face into the male's neck. "Aima said that if I wanted to be a BloodClanner I had to stop fucking around. And. . . that I had to be more intelligent and not so dependent on Catty. And, um. . . I have to learn how to fight better."


    If she remembered correctly.

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. Darken would place his paw on Mairead's back and rub up and down, really thinking nothing of her being so close or the fact that he was pretty much hugging her. Normally his pelt would be jittering with nerves and every hair would be on end, but not now. Huh.


    Listening carefully to her words, it seemed reasonable of what the tigress leader was asking of her. "Yes Mairead, you have to TRY." he would say, putting emphasis on 'try' but not shouting it. It was a pain in the ass to bold on mobile. "I know you can do it. But you need to believe in yourself first!" He'd telepathically state. Ok sounded cheesy as hell, he knew. But it did have a lot of truth to it.

    [justify]And suddenly, the female became angry. Why did everyone want her to be someone she wasn't? They thought they were helping but they were breaking her, forcing her to try and be someone that she wasn't. Maybe that was why she felt like she needed to be a BloodClanner, because there were so many expectations set upon her. Suddenly jerking away, Jacky would turn her head so she was no longer looking at Darkenpool, releasing a sniffle.[/justify]

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. The fuck?! All he asked of her was that she gave a shit. She was his apprentice now, so he wouldn't be taking this. He couldn't have her leave! "Mairead, look at me!" He'd snap. "I know you think that it's not who you are or whatever, but you need to try. You need to make an EFFORT. All that she asks of you is you being able to handle yourself!"

    [justify]"Stop. . . stop yelling at me! Stop calling me Mairead, stop just stop!" She snapped back, wriggling a bit more away from her mentor. "All of this is stupid! We all know that's I'm n-not a fucking BloodClanner, so why the fuck does everyone - it's like left and right all I hear is 'you can do it' and 'just try' and 'I believe in you' and all of those encouraging fucking words but it's like none of you like me for who I am a-and I-" she was too frustrated to even get her point across.


    Rising to her paws, Jacky would harshly claw at the sand and begin kicking stones. "Just stop trying and leave me alone!"[/justify]

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. Stop calling her Mairead? Just . . . give up on her? Tearing up at his amber eyes he would look away and bite down on hid lip. "Ma - Jacky you're better than you think you are. And I know you don't believe in yourself for whatever reason. I just thought if you would just try I-I . . ." he stammered out sniffling. Not that she could hear it. Nor would she care if she did.


    "I wouldn't have to lose you . . ." It came out in a whisper when he said it. She was his best friend, he couldn't lose her . . . not now and not ever. The first time he ever laid eyes on her he knew that she was important to him. And she had been ever since.

    [justify]Anger melting away into sadness and defeat, the female would slump over, falling face-first into the sand. Her hind legs rising to a stand, she would begin to walk forward, dragging her face along the grainy substance. "I was able to handle myself just fine until all this shit happened! I don't even like BloodClan, why do you think I left in the first place!? I wanna be like the rest of you but then it's like none of you like me for me and it's stupid. No wonder Catty had a thing for my sister, she's more BloodClan than I am. She was leading a rebellion as a fucking kitten." her voice was muffled due to the sand, but it was able to be heard.[/justify]

    [align=center][font=andale mono][color=black][size=20pt]♔ Darkenpool Darling ♔[/size]
    [size=8]OOC. n/a


    IC. He, of course, wouldn't understand her pain, but he wanted to ease it. He knew that much. When she stood up he would stand himself and walk over to her, laying a gentle tail on her. Biting down on his lip, he would sigh. "I know you're frustrated and I know you're nervous. But I promise I won't make it too hard - nor too easy - on you." He would say to her telepathically with a sigh. "Just trust me, ok?"