Rainy's School of Writing and Grammar. (Teacher and Students needed.)

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  • Username: Vixxxxxxxxxxxxxen, but my newest name is poke vixxy, but I'll be changing soon. :)


    Nickname: Miss Marshmallows. Haha, no, just call me Vixxy. You could call me miss marshmallows though....


    What you specialize in: The usual, of coarse. Grammatical correction. This ranges from capital letters to periods, colons, and semi-colons. :)


    How active are you?: Quite active, actually. But, for this weekend, I will be less active due to a waterpark trip.

  • i have written this so far tell me what you think~


    BREAK THROUGH
    Characters~
    Main characters~
    Samantha(Sammy or Sam)~ 5'11 girl with freckles acroass the bridge of her nose and long golden brown hair with Hazel eyes~not ugly not pretty~16 years old
    John~ brother of Samantha and has glowing green eyes with pure brown hair and freckles~13 years old
    Alicia~twin sister of samantha but has blue eyes like her dad and her hair is curled at the ends~mean stuck-up, and beautiful~16 years
    Nicholas~tall handsome white boy he has short brown hair and the perfect skintone. his eyes are a deep blue like the ocean.~likes Samantha hes the cute good guy
    Lucas~ tan, tall boy with golden-brown eyes and black hair~ handsome likes alicia
    Delilah~ bestfriend of Samantha~pretty white girl with blue and blonde mixed hair and baby blue eyes
    ___________________________________________________________
    not so important~
    Joseph~ cute black boy that is in Alicia's 'popular' group. has black eyes
    Tony~ white geek that has red hair and wears glasses
    Ryan~ natural tanned mexican boy with rusted brown eyes and short brown hair~ goes out with Delilah
    CHAPTERS
    Prologue
    Chapter 1
    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3
    Chapter 4



    Prologue~ P.O.V~ Samantha
    I heard them good.
    I was unnerved by it because well it happened every day.
    I sighed it would it ever end? Will I ever be good enough?
    Thousands of questions raced through my mind. My best friend was right next to me. “Ignore them,” she kept telling me. I guess I did pretty good because it’s like I never heard them. Their voices. Cold harsh voices.
    I look over and see my sister with her friends. She laughed at me, and soon her whole group was doing the same.
    The same question came wriggled its way inside her head; Will it ever end…?


    Chapter One~ P.O.V~ Samantha
    I woke up in the morning to see my younger brother standing over me. I groaned and reached up to hit him, but he just moved out of the way with a bored expression on his face. He walked out of my room with the same expression on his white face.
    I pulled myself out of bed and sighed. What will be good to wear today? It’s sunny outside but not hot, I thought to myself. I looked around my room, my bright hazel eyes scanning the surroundings.
    My eyes landed on a cute neon orange shirt and I got up. I realized the under shirt was missing. I walked to my drawer and searched around inside it. My hand touched something sharp and I pulled it back. I quickly reached inside and pulled the sharp thing out. When it was out, I realized it was only the knife I used to cut my body when stressed. It happened very often and my mom didn’t know about it. Neither did my dad.
    I sighed and covered it back up, the metallic piece crusted with blood. I picked the under shirt out of my bottom drawer and walked to the door locking it. I took it off my long sleeve shirt and replaced it with the neon under shirt. Next, I put on the over shirt and fixed it so it fit me just right. When I looked at my legs, I knew to wear pants today. As I walked to my closet, I tripped over a blanket on the floor. I got up quickly and walked back to my closet.
    I opened it and looked for the color skinny jeans Delilah liked best. Yes I do look good In skinny jeans even though I’m ‘thick’ if that’s what you are thinking. I picked out my baby blue ones and put them on quickly. Then I headed down stairs with my book bag. I looked at he time. 7:41, holy crap! I thought as I got my banana from it’s pile. I rapidly ate it and walked outside to see Alicia.
    As usual, she was waiting with Lucas, joseph, and Bri, the only three popular kids in her so called group that lives on our block. I saw Bri give me a disgusted laugh and rolled my eyes at her. I wasn’t the kind of girl that took crap from anyone.
    I turn to see Delilah, Ryan and Nicholas together. When my best friend sees my outfit, she smiles and starts running towards me. “That is so cute on you! I love how baby blue and neon orange go together so well!” she says. I smile back. “Thanks.” I wave at Ryan and Nicholas. I was surprised to see Nick give me a smile.
    Anyways, I turn and spot our bus coming, ready to take us to Brey town high school. I let Delilah get on first and Nick gets on after me. I try to let Ryan on before me, but all he does is shake his head no.
    As I’m walking down the aisle, I see Bri’s foot in the aisle. I laugh in her face and I kick her leg hard. I heard all the uncool people laugh at what I did. “Oh Samantha Carson you got it this time!” she gets up but Nick easily pushes her down with a push. As I work my way to the back, I trip on my own sister’s foot. “Oops sorry,” she says in mock guilt. I slowly get up in defeat and start walking with my head down.
    We pull into our school parking lot and the bus driver opens the door. This time Delilah tells me to get in the front of her. I see a bruise on my elbow from when I tripped. I sighed. “Will it ever end?” I thought aloud. “Yes, yes it will!” Delilah said determined to make a stop to it. I giggle softly.

  • [font=arial]

    Quote

    I sighed it would it ever end? Will I ever be good enough?


    Correct pronunciation: I sighed; would it ever end? Would I ever be good enough?


    Quote

    The same question came wriggled its way inside her head; Will it ever end…?


    Correct pronunciation: The same question wriggled its way inside her head; would it ever end...?


    Quote

    “Oh Samantha Carson you got it this time!”


    Correct Pronunciation: "Oh, Samantha Carson, you got it this time!"


    Quote

    “Oops sorry,”


    Correct pronunciation: "Oops, sorry,"


    Your story is good so far, but try and add adjectives and commas to help the story out a bit. As an example:

    Quote

    Yes I do look good In skinny jeans even though I’m ‘thick’ if that’s what you are thinking.


    Instead,
    Yes, I d look good in skinny jeans, even though I'm 'thick', if that's why you're thinking.


    Also, I think you've been a bit mixed up with past and future nouns. Example:

    Quote

    I walked to my drawer and searched around inside it.


    Quote

    I giggle softly.


    See how both are different?


    Do you understand?

    The post was edited 1 time, last by marshy♥ ().

  • That is good.


    Here, let me put up an example.



    The worst side-


    'Ariana turned staring at Julian. "Why not? Why?" She asked. I study him, almost deliriously. '


    1- Ariana turned, staring at Julian. "Why not? Why" She asked, quickly. She studied him, almost deliriously.' See how you change the tenses, and you can't exactly do past tense, or present tense.

  • Anyone here watch the show Supernatural? If so I NEED HELP (not mental help but maybe that too......) I'm writing like three fanficitons right now and have run out of ideas for two and the one I have an idea for it keeps getting delayed and well I have issues with the writing portion of my brain right now and would appreciate it of someone could help me out.
    Even if you don't watch the show I could use ideas. :D

  • Well I'm planning on starting to watch the show, so I guess I could help you sometime soon. What kind of ideas do you have in mind?

  • Right now I'm doing one where one of the character's
    MAJOR SPOILERS Ahead. Not all just the first sentence.


    Well that was typed in under three minutes so well those are those ideas. (:
    So yeah thanks, I can send the stories to you in a pm or post them here if you'd like.

  • How about you post them here? I'm sure everyone else would love to read what you have written and help you out.

  • This one you really have to watch the show to understand fully what happens and the different character personalities though two of them are mine Cierraphial and Aridriel.


    Spin off (This story really consists of a bunch of snapshots so far, there is a lot more to this but I haven't transferred it to my computer yet)


    On the show the characters mentioned are played by
    Sam - Jared Padalecki
    Dean- Jensen Ackles
    Gabriel- Richard Speight Jr.
    Zachariah- Kurt Fuller
    Balthazar- Sebastian Roche`
    Castiel- Misha Collins

  • Alright, I'll have to read these when I have more time. I really can't wait until I have the time to start watching this show, because it sounds really awesome.

  • Yeah it is. I'm kind of obsessed with it now. Been watching it since I was like 6 and have seen every episode.
    Plus most of the guys are really hot/cute/insert word of choice to define men in show. lol.
    I gotta go be on tomorrow at some point.


  • I'm looking for some reviews and ideas for these stories. They're fanfictions for the show Supernatural.
    And then there is this one I'm working on

  • Random!

    PS: This story has the word hell in it a bunch, so just saying. If you don't like that word, don't read this. :3






    "Welcome to Hell."


    "I'm not kidding. It took 10,000,000 days to get here, no? Must of felt like a minute to you, you're dead. Anyway, look around. Surroundings. Let's pass it to the map, shall we not?"


    As you look, you see random fights popping up. And the creatures. A fish head with gazelle legs walks by, screaming. Looking down, you notice that claws are stretching out, and you realize you look beautiful to these monsters. Another human crashes down beside you, and the same greeting echoes. She has icy eyes, like Sinatra's. Her hands are already losing a few fingers. that, or they are being replaced by ice. As you wrench eyes from her, you see a barren land of red, gray, and black, with fires roaring. Suddenly, a huge black lion pads up to you. He seems god-like, and when he speaks, you notice huge, glistening white fangs. "Hello, Human. Welcome to Hell."


    ------------------------------------------------
    Done with the prolouge.