`broken windows as i'm left ѕнαттєяє∂-- [open]

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Barricadekit--
{Female / Kit / 5 moons / Shadowclan}
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[font=Cochin][color=black]I never wanted this. I never wanted to lose myself so easily. Never wanted any part of this either. Is Satan haunting me? I'm so pathetic, my name should be Pathetickit, the she-kit who lets secrets haunt her life. What in the fuck am I suppose to do? Knowing that my brother is a treacherous killer and living with that lingering in my mind. Believe me, I saw it with my own point of view. I saw my brother kill a cat, not just a random cat, our mother.

You see, our mother isn't just any mother. She wasn't caring or protective, nor loving. She was abusive, deadly, demanding, schizophrenic, and mostly insane. In sums of, she had a mental disorder, along with a crazy past that made her this way. You see this scar on my head? My mother done that when I was only 2 moons. My mother thought I was her sister, unfortunately and obviously she hated her sister's guts for reasons I never knew why. My older brother, Cravekit, intently and most defiantly feared my mother. She would beat us for no reason. I still love my mother, no matter how crazy or messed up she is. Though, it was opposite for Cravekit, now Cravepaw.

Now, I am officially going insane. Cravepaw had told me and I promised him that I won't speak of my mother's death, but I had too! It's sooo hard to keep in all of the pain and guilt of keeping secrets. I knew I had to talk to somebody, but who? I had no friends. No one to trust. God damn it life is so hard.I breathed an distressful sigh, in which can anyone in the nursery can probably hear. I laid in my bedding, head on my blueish silver paws. My gray eyes were clouded and read nothing but desire.
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Barricadekit--
{Female / Kit / 5 moons / Shadowclan}
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[font=Cochin][color=black]I blinked my misty gray eyes, feeling dumbfounded. Was this kit talking to me? Well she was standing right in front of me, obviously she was talking to me. How rare, like a flying fox on a winter morning. I awkwardly pawed at some fluffy moss ball that was in front of me, so it would look like I was doing something other than sitting there looking like an idiot.
"My name is Barricadekit." I said with my best effort, though, it came out rusty, like an elder's voice, and seemed like I didn't use it for awhile. Wow, do I really sound like that? Maybe it's just my ears.

Sitting in the nursery without being active and social can really make you think how your life seems so boring and meaningless. It's like the world suddenly stopped spinning and just... freezes. Then, when it spins again, it goes faster than ever. That's what I get for being so absent-minded, I guess.

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Barricadekit--
{Female / Kit / 5 moons / Shadowclan}
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[font=Cochin][color=black]I flick the mossy rounded ball away from me with a paw, "no, I was just playing by myself.." I uttered carelessly. I stretched out my paw towards the moss ball, "you can have it," I offered nonchalantly to the kit with a wave of my striped tabby-like tail-tip.
I saw the actions between Pridekit and her mother, thought that I wanted a mother like that: caring and acceptable. I shuffled a silent sigh, it was barely noticed.
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