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[tt]|| Andy Lites||
"I can't explain why I starve myself, why I hurt myself in every way. But I can tell you part of the reason. I do it, because I hurt myself so you don't have to. I've been cutting for 3 year, but recently they're getting deeper and deeper. I've been malnourished for 8 months, I was put in the hospital and stayed there for 15 days to gain weight... 8 months ago I weighed 118 pounds, A pretty healthy weight.. 2 months later I had lost 10 pounds, dropping fast. 2 months ago I weighed 97 pounds... now I way 74 pounds, a deathly weight. I can see my bones.. well they can.. all I see when I look in the mirror is fat. I'm slowly killing myself."
I looked at my image in the blurry, mirror of my high school bathroom. My face no longer had color, my cheek bones more than noticeable. My lips were now as pale as my face, making them look thin and Dark circles shadowed my grey eyes. It wasn't a different person in the mirror, but I realized how different I had looked just months ago. My bones, day by day, became more pungent, and there was no hiding it. I wore blue jeans and a dark sweatshirt, both way too big on me. I use to wear a pant size of 6, but Now I was around a one or 0. I couldn't buy clothes that would fit though, I didn't have the money.
The only skin visible on my body was my scrawny face and bony hands, that I couldn't hide. I sighed, feeling guilty that I had just eaten a nasty school lunch and had emptied it in the toilet just moments ago. I mean.. it was nothing new, I did it every day, more than twice. I bent over the sink, rinsing my mouth out, in hopes to mask the smell of my breath. My dark hair use to be so thick and pretty, now it was mangled and thin.
I exited the bathroom, walking back into the lunch room. The aroma of food made my guilt twice as bad as my stomach growled. Just like everyday I'd have at least 45 minutes left of lunch to sit alone and wait.
I crawled onto the hard bench of an empty lunch table, hiding my face within my straggly hair. Fumbling with the cuff on my sleeve, I bit my lower lip, letting the suicidal thoughts slip into mind.
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