don't leave me all alone [ private c: ]

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    [font=georgia] Harry understood how Louis would feel about it all. He felt so bad for the older lad, it broke his heart. He wanted to ask which band member he liked but he was afraid to find out.. in case it wasn't him. He didn't know what he was thinking, but he couldn't help him either. Because Louis was his favorite in the band, and they hung out so much with each other. And again, he began to question his sexuality. If it wasn't him, maybe he should try backing off on Louis before the jealousy took over. [Color=white]"Lou, it's okay." he murmured, reaching his hand up to wipe the tear away from his cheek before wrapping his arms around him. [Color=white]"I'm not disgusted of you."

    "Y-you aren't?" Louis whispered, letting out a shaky breath. "Because the first person to find out about it… hasn't been nice to me. They said it's unnatural. But… just explain to me, how it's unnatural to be in love? And why that's so disgusting? I-I don't get it. And I don't get why she never leaves me alone about it! Always teasing me for it, it just never stops. And I was afraid… you and the boys would react the same way." He whimpered softly and he hid his face in Harry's chest. He felt so alone and… disgusting. H closed his eyes tightly and whimpered.

    [font=georgia] Harry felt his heart race uncontrollably fast about the situation. At suddenly holding Louis close. The first person to find out about it was a "she" and the first person who hated him more than anyone and could express her hate through teasing and taunts had to be Kathy. "Well Louis I'd suggest you'd ignore her Lou," he mumbled, running his fingers through Louis's hair. [color=white]"Love is love." He didn't know how to comfort the lad anymore than this. He never saw Louis so scared, so sad. So lost and alone and he felt so bad. For leaving him alone and not reading obvious signs of a broken Louis.

    "Love is love..." Louis repeated the younger boys words, letting out a shaky sigh. He repeated that over and over in his head. Love is love. That's true. Love was love, but that didn't mean it was always accepted or tolerated. When Harry found out it was him, he'd probably leave. Wouldn't it be weird to have your best friend love you... the way Louis did? He sniffed again and shook his head. "I'm just scared that... everyone else will hate me. I mean, being... gay, like I know I am, isn't exactly accepted. People find it disgusting. And... I don't know. One person hating me for it is enough. I don't know how I'll handle m-more than that... when everyone else finds out. Because there will be hate. An-and I don't know how much of it I can take." He whimpered softly. "Besides, the person I like... h-he doesn't like me back. He'd just be disgusted with me when he finds out."

    [font=georgia] Harry's heart was easily breaking at Louis's words and the question was at the edge of his tongue. The question he so badly wanted to hold back but it kept trying to slip every time he spoke. "Louis... any guy would be lucky to have you." He decided to say sincerely. He didn't know what to say about the hate, because there would definitely be hate but there was something he could do. [color=white]"Your funny, energetic, immature... in a good way, knowing how to cheer everyone up. And your eyes... when I look into your eyes I-" Harry's slipup of actually talking about Louis's eyes made him blush. He bit his lip awkwardly and before he control anything else said, he asked the question he'd been holding back. [color=white]"Lou, who do you like?"

    Louis's eyes widened and he forgot how to breathe for a second. Did he really just ask that question? He knew that eventually someone would ask, but it really had to be Harry of all people. "I-I... like... um.... I like..." He stuttered, unsure of what to say. Did he want to tell Harry? Just in case their was the slightest chance....? No. There was no way he'd ever like Louis back. He was with Kathy. Which just proved that he was straight. He sighed quickly. "I thought it was obvious who I liked Haz. But if you don't know... will, maybe you should try and figure it out yourself." He murmured softly.

    [font=georgia] Harry's heart sunk while he was left to guess who it was, which left him frustrated. He bit his bottom lip, looking down at his hands, eventually bringing them up to rub his temples. A headache was starting to make its way into his mind and he hated it, hated this. "Okay..." he mumbled after a moment's thought. [color=white]"Okay." He drew himself away from Louis now a bit. [color=white]"You have my full support on this, boo."

    Louis watched him quietly and nodded. He sighed softly and fell onto his bed. "At least... I have someone's support." He laughed his sarcastic, bitter laugh again. He still didn't feel like the old Louis. He felt like a small weight was lifted off his shoulders, because Harry seemed to be okay with all this, but he still couldn't help but feel depressed. Just know that Harry would never love him back... it made his heartache. "I don't know how I'm going to tell my parents. Because I'm not even sure how they feel about gays in general." He sighed softly. "This is all just so... confusing, Haz."

    [font=georgia] Harry watched Louis fall back on his bed, frowning at the sound of his bitter, sarcastic laugh that sent shivers down the younger lad's spine for some reason. He watched the older lad before he laid back beside him, not really caring if they were pressed up next to each other. "All of it takes time to get together, Lou." he said gently. [color=white]"But I promise you when you figure it all out, I'll be there with you no matter what." He gave a small hopeful smile. [color=white]"So please cheer up. We won't tell anyone else right now."

    Louis looked over at him and sighed softly. He slowly nodded, not really saying anything for the moment. He hated to tell Harry... that he felt too depressed to even fake a smile anymore. That he couldn't cheer up, not right now at least. He curled up beside Harry and let out another loud, sigh. "Alright. I try to cheer up..." He murmured finally. "But I don't know if I really can. I've just been so... depressed lately. You know?" He whispered very quietly. "Anyways..." He tried to think of away to change the conversation. He didn't really want to talk about his depression anymore. But he didn't want to talk about it anyways in the first place.

    [color=teal][font=georgia]It was like everything he said was pushed aside and put into another problem, leaving Harry's words nothing but not important. Harry watched Louis curl up beside him, his green eyes filled with sympathy for the lad. He wrapped his arm around Louis. When he mentioned depression he shook his head because Harry didn't know. He never been as depressed as Louis seemed. He thought for a moment, trying to think what to bring up that had nothing to do with depression but since Louis brought it up, the conversation still hung there. It was all awkward. He sighed quietly just staring at the ceiling.

    Louis sighed at the awkward silence that followed. He cleared his throat and glanced around. He needed to talk about something, anything besides all this. Because the more he talked about it, the more he realized how much more depressed he actually was. And he hated feeling this way. He just wanted all the pain and worry to disappear. And having Harry there helped somewhat, but it also reminded him of what he'd probably- no wait, never have and that hurt him like a knife in the heart. Over, and over, and over again. He sighed softly and sat up again, walking over to the stuff discarded carelessly all over the floor and started to pick it up. "I can't stand it." Louis murmured to Harry softly. "This mess is driving me crazy. I don't understand why I can't just get off my lazy butt and kill this place up.." He spoke mostly to himself as he began to place the things away. "So... enough about me." He said with a sigh as he continued to pick things up and put them away. "What about you. How've you been? Good, yeah?"

    [font=georgia] Harry was left with no one to hold, biting his bottom lip, holding back a frustrated sigh. Harry sat up and sat back, drawing his legs to his chest, watching Louis pick up things from the floor when he never usually did. Why was he so self-conscious all of a sudden? "Your far from lazy," Harry mumbled awkwardly. He meant to say it louder but instead, it slipped out quietly. When he asked how he was, Harry shrugged. He didn't know how he even felt. Life as a celebrity was basically the same, with different patterns. Shop, sing, have fun, sleep, start all over. Harry has been living his life as a celebrity but not Louis. Because Harry had been spending so much time with his girlfriend, picking his girlfriend over Louis, that he had to put in somewhere in his schedule. He felt so guilty. "Sure..." he mumbled. [color=white]"Nothing's the same without the old Lou." He knew Louis didn't want it to be brought up, but it always somehow snuck it's way into the conversation.

    Louis froze slightly. He glanced back at Harry and shook his head. He went back to picking the stuff up, this time faster. He really just wanted to be able to see the floor. He was embarrassed that Harry had to see his room such a mess. He didn't know why. He didn't used to before. But then again, he didn't realize that he loved Harry before. And now everything he did just had to be perfect around Harry. Even his room. He finished cleaning and panted slightly at the effort it had taken. He looked around. He could actually see the floor again. It was like some kind of miracle. "The old Louis?" He finally managed to say after a few minutes of silence. He shrugged slightly and shook his head. "Now he's been gone for a long time.."

    [font=georgia] Harry couldn't look at Louis any longer. He looked at the ground, playing with the blankets underneath him until Louis spoke up. Harry flushed at that, looking up at the ground, his green eyes stretching wide at the ground. He wasn't going to tell him that he never noticed until now since he'd been pretty much ignoring him as you could say. [color=white]"Louis... you actually cleaned your room?" he asked. Louis definitely wasn't the same anymore and it gave him an heartache in thinking that he could be most of the cause for it.

    "It was long overdue for a good cleaning." Louis replied with a small shrug. "I wanted to see the floor and look, now I can." He sat back down on his bed, still breathing heavily. It had taken a lot of effort to clean the huge mess he'd made. He glanced back at Harry and sighed quietly. "I thought you'd be jumping for joy. Oh look Louis cleaned him room… yay? Party time?" He said the last bit with a nervous tone and smile. He laughed nervously then sighed. This definitely wasn't going as planned. He sighed again and stared down at his hands. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say or do. He knew cleaning was very out of character for him, but hey. A few months ago, he thought he was straight too. Louis just couldn't be the same. Not without his Harry. He sighed softly and looked around his now completely spotless room.

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Littlemissy17 ().

    [font=georgia] Harry would have probably celebrated if he knew Louis wasn't different. The information that he'd learned was hard to forget and trying to change the subject, especially right now, wouldn't be the same. He stared at the floor, his green eyes still surprised. He didn't answer Louis for the longest time because he was thinking. The whole idea of Louis being depressed upset him because the lad used to be so happy. Louis was his name, yes, he just wasn't... Louis because he hadn't learned to probably accept his sexuality completely. [color=white]"It is quite nice..." he mumbled in his same raspy and quiet voice, knees still drawn to his chest. His eyes looked over the clean room and he forced a weak smile, unable to look at Louis.

    Louis frowned slightly. He glanced down at Harry and shook his head. "Is something… wrong, Harry?" He asked him softly. Harry wasn't acting as happy as he'd hoped. He needed some kind of comfort, but Louis didn't know what was wrong. He scooted over to him and grabbed Harry's hand. "Did I do something?" He hoped it wasn't him that upset his young friend. But then again, he knew he had. Maybe he really wasn't okay with Louis being gay like he had said.

    [font=georgia] Harry was so thoughtful, he forgot that everything what was wrong. Harry became lost in his own thoughts that it was almost like his body had shut down with his eyes still open. He found his mouth dry and he almost didn't say anything, didn't notice that he laced his hand through Louis's until he looked down. There was something about the lad that pulled him in and he was starting to now question his sexuality again [color=white]"N-no..." Harry mumbled, still refusing to meet the older lad's gaze. [color=white]"I was just thinking — I mean — I'm really worried about you, Lou. We can't just do nothing about it."

    Louis bit his lip and looked down. He should have known that it was something like that. Evertone said that. That they were worried about him and his depressed demeanor. "You don't need to worry." He said to Harry, just like he'd said to everyone else. "I'm fine Haz. I'll be okay." He flashed him a small, completely forced smile. He sighed quietly and gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze. "I don't know why you're worried about me, honestly. I've never been better." That was one of the biggest lies he'd ever told. He was far from that. He shouldn't be lying to Harry, simply because he couldn't. But he really didn't want to worry him.