don't leave me all alone [ private c: ]

This is an archived version of FeralFront. While you can surf through all the content that was ever created on FeralFront, no new content can be created.
If you'd like some free FeralFront memorabilia to look back on fondly, see this thread from Dynamo (if this message is still here, we still have memorabilia): https://feralfront.com/thread/2669184-free-feralfront-memorabilia/.

    [font=georgia] Harry hadn't expected him to answer, especially since he seemed angry towards him. They didn't talk in the car at all like they'd used to, which saddened Harry. When he got with Kathy, they did like they always used to. As him and Kathy stuck together, Harry and Louis talked less, at least with Kathy in the car but now, even with Kathy not in the car, at all. When the door swung open, Harry went to talk but was shocked at the shocking look at Louis's face. Even though he shouldn't Though his best friend was surprised to see him there. He probably expected him to go straight to Kathy but for once, she really wasn't on his mind right now. But Louis was. Harry ran his hand through his curly hair nervously, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. [color=white]"Um," he started awkwardly. [color=white]"I was hoping we could hang out... unless your busy doing.... something."

    Louis laughed at the last sentence. But it was sarcastic, bitter almost. "Busy doing something? I'm busy doing nothing." He murmured softly, glancing back down at his hands for a moment. "We can hang out.... if you want to." He added quickly. He sounded a bit bitter at first, which wasn't exactly his intention. He sighed as bit down on his lip hard, which he did often nowadays. He was basically ruining his chance at hanging with Harry the one time he offers. "But I understand if you don't. Sometimes I don't even want to hang with me anymore.."

    [font=georgia] Harry was confused at Louis's last sentence, a little scared at Louis's behavior. This wasn't the Louis he once knew. But what made up the old Louis was Harry himself so without Harry in his life, was that what Louis was now. He baracaded himself in his room until people worried about him. It was probably because of Kathy. He didn't know. He looked at Louis's eyes, noticing that they almost matched his voice. His heart sunk abit and he found himself a bit more nervous. "Of course I want to, boo." he mumbled, looking down. [color=white]"I may not deserve another chance to be here with you but I beg you let me come in." Harry gave him puppy dog eyes, trying to lighten up the mood a bit around Louis. To at least get him to act like his immature self.

    Louis stared at Harry for a second then sighed and stepped aside so he could come in. He could never really argue with Harry for the most part. He turned back around and slumped over to his bed and sat down on it quietly. He didn't even bother to fake a smile. Honestly, he wanted to make Harry realize that he needed him in his life. Because Harry was basically everything to him. His smile. His laugh. His voice. His life. His world. His everything. And when he left Louis... he took those things with him. Leaving him this sad, depressed, down guy that could never smile, and always hid in his room. Mostly because of Kathy, but a little bit because he didn't want the others to notice how sad he truly was without his Haz. "Sorry for the mess..." He mumbled softly. He'd always been pretty messy, but now he was self conscious about it. "I should really clean sometime."

    [font=georgia] Harry frowned, obviously upset at Louis's reaction but he knew he'd just act like everything was okay. He'd try and talk to Louis, try and act like everything was okay between him and Louis. And maybe if he were lucky, he'd get somewhere with Louis. But obviously he wasn't right now. Harry slowly moved stuff out of the way, closing the door behind him, noticing how suddenly self-conscious the older lad was about his room. Harry sighed and shrugged. "I'm used to it," he said, giving a small smile and walking over to sit by Louis awkwardly. [color=white]"So what would you like to do?" he asked, looking around before looking at Louis questioningly.

    Louis shrugged slightly and glanced up at him. His eyes were dead, just like he was inside. Months of neglecting him, and being terrorized by Kathy behind Harry's back lead him to depression. He sighed softly and bit his lower lip gently. "Maybe we should just… talk. You know, catch up." He answered after a few moments of silence. He felt slightly awkward, talking to Harry when they haven't just ha a simple chat for so long. He lowered his gaze to his hands and chewed his lip.

    [font=georgia] Harry nodded, loosing his smile a bit. "Talking.... talking sounds good." he mumbled, his voice thoughtful. He wanted to comfort Louis in some way. Since joking around didn't work, he didn't even know how to anymore. Which was very disappointing because Harry and Louis used to be so close. Even Larry fans gave up on the two. Though those fans didn't really fancy Kathy, either. He watched Louis's actions, trying to meet his blue gaze but they kept traveling to his hands. Finally, Harry just asked. Yeah, they'd talk... he wanted to get something out of the lad. [color=white]"Yeah... um, boo, are you sure your okay?" Harry asked worryingly.

    Louis stiffened at the question. Oh, how he'd come to hate it. He was aske it so often nowadays. He sighed and glanced back up at Harry, faking another smile. "Yeah." He lied softly. "I'm fine. Great, even." He wished that was true. But it wasn't. He didn't know if he'd be fine eve again, for real at least. He swallowed hard and sighed deeply. His eyes said everything though. He wasn't fine. Not even close. And his dead, blue eyes seemed to say exactly that as he stared at the younger boy sitting next to him.

    [font=georgia] Even though Louis said he was fine, Harry looked in the older lad's eyes now and knew that every feeling that was in his eyes said everything but "fine" Harry decided to stop acting so awkward around him. Biting his bottom lip, he shook his head and wrapped his arms around Louis, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Your not very good at hiding your feelings around me Lou..." he murmured. He hated seeing the dead look in his eyes. It hurt Harry inside. He wanted to see Louis smiling again. [color=white]"So... is it me?" he guessed.

    Louis felt himself blush when Harry kissed his cheek. To Harry it may have been a simple kiss on the cheek, but to Louis, it was a little more then that. At Harry's question, he sighed softly. He slowly nodded. "You've just been ignoring me, lately. I feel like you don't like me anymore, your so distant and you don't even try to keep out friendship alive most of the time. And you don't even trust me…" Hurt was clear in his voice as he spoke, biting his lip hard. "And then Kathy hurts me to. She is so mean to me when you aren't around. She says the worst things about me…" he sighed softly an glanced at his hands. He didn't look into the younger boys eyes.

    [font=georgia] Harry frowned as Louis explained why he was so down. His heart sunk and he let his arms drop from around the older boy. He didn't know how to make up for that. When he mentioned Kathy being mean to him, he decided he wouldn't argue with that. He knew Kathy didn't really like Louis so that could be something she would do. But Louis did it too. Harry decided he didn't want to argue with Louis about it. He really wanted to stay close to Louis but all they were doing was drifting apart. He took Louis's hand and pulled it over to his own lap, hoping to get Louis's attention. [color=white]"I'll talk to her about it." he mumbled, running his fingers along Louis's knuckles.

    "Of course you would," Louis murmured sarcastically. He really didn't believe him. He sighed softly and kept his gaze at a random spot, not really on Harry. He sighed softly and bit his lip hard. Suddenly, he felt even more upset then before. Harry don't even realize that what hurt him most was that he loved Harry, and seeing him with another made hi heart ache. Especially since that person was only in it for the money. "Just… forget I said anything. It doesn't even matter." He mumbled.

    [font=georgia]Harry frowned at Louis's sarcastic answer, not really knowing what to say. He lowered his head thoughtfully, looking at Louis's hand that was in his lap. "But it does, Lou." he mumbled. He dropped Louis's hand. [color=white]"I still care for you. But your upset for some reason. You want me there, but your pushing me away. You know I can't read your mind." he mumbled.

    "If I told you what was really wrong, you'd probably just yell me and push me away, Haz." Louis murmured softly. "And.... I don't want you to do that." He just had this feeling that Harry didn't love him back. Nor did Harry even notice that the older lad loved him, which is why he took all of this so hard. It literally killed him. Then Kathy was making everything worse. She teased him, rubbing everything in his face and making him feel worse. All the pain just built up inside of him until he just couldn't hold it all in anymore. But he didn't know how to make it go away. To stop it.

    [font=georgia] Harry sighed. At how Louis said it, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. Many thoughts popped up into the curly haired lads mind, thinking about what it might be. He just bit his lip. "Well I just want us to be us again Lou..." he muttered. [color=white]"I want to know why you are putting a wall up against the both of us when you want to spend time with me." Now he was the one looking at his hands, unable to look into Louis's eyes anymore.

    Louis sighed softly. He really didn't want to be talking about this right now. He but his lip and sighed softly. "Hazza, w-what if I wasn't straight? And… I liked one of my friends? Would you h-hate me?" He asked quietly, staring down at the messy floor of his room. The fact that it was this dirty was actually getting on his nerves. He hoped Harry wouldn't mind him being gay. But what if he did? What if he hated Louis for it?! That was the last thing he wanted… or needed at the moment.

    [font=georgia] Harry took the question unexpectedly. He didn't expect that question to pop up. Questions about Louis and what was wrong with him popped in his mind. Was that the reason why he was so upset? He was in love with someone from the band or one of his friends? Louis would be the last one he'd think ask him that question. He thought for a moment, just looking into the older lad's eyes. Would he be mad? After everything they did together, could he? The question popped up instantly. It depended who he liked, maybe? Maybe... someone from the band would be okay... but what if he couldn't have them? [Color=white]"I wouldn't.... care." Harry muttered after a moment's thought. [Color=white]"I'm not going to judge you because of sextuality."

    Louis looked up and stared at him quietly. He didn't even realize that the friend he spoke about was him. He really didn't notice? He sighed and bit his lip. "W-will Thats why I'ce been so upset. I thought you'd hate me because… I think I might be gay." he whispered as he looked down at his hands again. "A-and it's worse because I actually like someone. I-in the band. And I'm pretty sure your all straight and… I feel so… I don't know."

    [font=georgia] Harry listened to Louis. When he'd finally gotten it out of him, he didn't know if he wanted to hear it anymore. He thought about Louis, possibly being gay. Having a crush on a band memeber. So what if it was likely to be him? Unless Louis told him who it was, he wasn't going to ask and embarrass the hell out of himself if it wasn't. But what if it was? He thought about the signs Louis ever gave... there was many. Gawd, did Louis love him? He remembered when he questioned his sextuality when he cuddled with Louis, or slept with him. Sometimes he honestly watched him sleep and he used to think he was so happy beside him. Then he had saw a beautiful girl and then his mind had him convinced that he wasn't gay. But staring a Louis... he just didn't know. He was biting his lip too hard. He felt the blood on his lip now. He went to wipe it away. [Color=white]"Left out?" he asked. [Color=white]"Boo, we've been here with you too far to hate you because of sextuality."

    "I-I don't know, Haz." Louis whispered as he glared down at his hands. "I always thought I was straight, but I never really liked a girl in that way. But I just assumed I was because I never liked a guy either. But then I started to like… someone in the band. And I'm just… unsure if what to think, or do." He whispered as he let out a shaky breath. "So yeah, I kind of do feel left out. If the boys found out… I'm just scared they'd be disgusted with me." He paused for a second to wipe a tear he found slip down his cheek. "I-I don't know why I'm telling you all of this."